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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

I don’t assume anything except the fetal position.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

If the earth was flat, many people would have already jumped off it.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Just worked out for 2 hours straight and 1 hour gay.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

I got Botox, and I asked the doctor, “How many years younger will this make me look?” and he was like, “Zero. You’ll just look like the other girls your age who have also gotten Botox.”

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Your dog immediately knows you’re leaving when you put on nice clothes… only because you usually look homeless when you’re at home.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

I’ve learned two important things in life, I can’t remember the first one, but the second one is to write everything down.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

If you’re partying with your cousin and you’re asked if you’re related, “Our parents are siblings” will cause a lot of confusion.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,317

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

Breaking via Threads:

It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

Trending via Discord:

You can have glossy lips or you can have a cat. You can’t have both.

Going bananas on Twitch:

At the first signs of a sore throat, you should be given the option of just skipping four days into the future.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Tonight I will make history, by turning off incognito mode.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

Shared recently on Reddit:

My morning yoga routine has really helped shift my lower back pain into my upper back.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

Making waves on TikTok:

I find myself thinking “God, I need a cigarette” way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke.

Live now on TikTok:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

Don’t study, get slutty!

3 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Humorous, bold text encouraging fun over studying with a cheeky vibe.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs textbooks when you've got sass and class? 😉 Remember, a little fun never hurt nobody! 📚💃 #StudyLessSlutMore"

advice, dating, fun, humor, party, slutty, study, youth

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Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Twitch this month:

I just really hope The Weeknd’s real name isn’t Mnday.

76 shares on Threads this month:

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

43 shares on WhatsApp this month:

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

95 shares on Threads this month:

My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.

83 shares on Twitch this month:

My wife trusts me with a joint bank account but when I’m loading the dishwasher she always walks in the kitchen “to get something.”

81 shares on TikTok this month:

No, you tell me what YOU were doing during that gap in my resume.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

27 shares on TikTok this month:

Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

25 shares on Reddit this month:

The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

Due to unfortunate circumstances, things are no longer fergalicious nor bootylicious.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Gonna spend today following my cats into the kitchen and meowing at them until they give me treats.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Dating again after you break up with a long-term partner is like dying in a video game and ending up back at the start to do it all again, except with less health.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a break after sending one email.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

I don’t hate you, I just don’t want to see you alive.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

I hate texting someone something freaky at night, and they reply in the morning like it’s still the vibe. Shut up. The sun’s out. I’m pure again.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

You’d be surprised how many times you can use the word succulent in a work email.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.

Just landed via Facebook:

It’s so funny that people directly compare Dune and Furiosa when all that they have in common is that there’s sand.

Just landed via Snapchat:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

Trending via Snapchat:

Please don’t use fear to manipulate me. Much more effective to use cake.

Just landed via Messenger:

Adulting is getting excited to go home and get into bed.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Introverts be like “I know a place”, then go home.

Just landed via Twitch:

They should invent a good thing that happens.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Remember when a series of unfortunate events was a book and not your life?

Just shared via TikTok:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in a different realm.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Don’t study, get slutty!

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

Explain it to me like I’m five then do it for me like I’m one hundred.

Being a little freak is my love language.

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

The world contains protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons.

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Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Don’t study, get slutty!

Keep the laugh going 😂

They should invent a Twitter where the timeline doesn’t refresh against your will.

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

Explain it to me like I’m five then do it for me like I’m one hundred.

Being a little freak is my love language.

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

The world contains protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨