Commentary:
Wow, they're trying to have their cake and eat mine too! 🍰💸🤣
327 Funny advice quotes
Crushes are meant for motivation to do better, not to actively pursue.
Commentary:
Sounds like the workout plan my heart didn't sign up for! 💪💖😂
If you get bitten by a snake and you’re not sure if it was poisonous, simply wait to see if you die or not. That should give you your answer.
Commentary:
Testing snake bites: the ultimate patience challenge! 🐍⏳😅
You can be under 25, just don’t do it around me.
Commentary:
Oh no, I've reached my "mature and wise" age level, please stop all that youthful energy before it overwhelms my arthritis 😂🧓✨
For your own sanity, move on like you never knew them, because in reality, you never did.
Commentary:
Sounds like I need to add "mind reader" to my resume… or maybe just "professional forgetter"! 🙃🧠🚶♂️
You don’t get to comment on the world until you’ve made your bed.
Commentary:
I guess my opinions have been lying around as long as my unmade bed! 🛏️🤔🗣️
For your own sanity, always take mixed signals as a no.
Commentary:
Mixed signals? My WiFi has better connection! 😂📡🚫
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.
Commentary:
Guess I'm just trying to reach 'full charge' like my phone, but instead I’m vibrating more than it ever does! ☕🔋😅
Stop rushing in the morning. You’re starting your day in panic mode.
Commentary:
When I rush in the morning, even my coffee needs coffee! ☕️😂
Pro tip: Avoid the news for a couple of days and have some fun.
Commentary:
Time to switch from "breaking news" to "breaking free" from stress! 😂📰✨