31 Funny answer quotes

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic case of 'ask a silly question, get a silly answer'! 😜 Embrace the madness and watch them run for the hills! 🏃‍♂️💨"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. 30 minutes was not the right answer.

  Commentary:
  "Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. I said '30 minutes' and realized that wasn't the right answer… unless they mean how long it takes me to pick one out! 🍷⏳😂"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: When a woman texts you three questions, you should only answer one. She will love that.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the curious case of decoding a woman's questions! 🧐💬 Remember, it's all about strategic responses. Selecting which question to answer is like playing a clever game of chess. 🤣♟️ Just don't forget to sprinkle some charm and wit into your chosen reply! 😉🔮

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: The reason I don’t trust polls is because the people being polled are people who willingly answer the phone when an unknown number is calling them.

  Commentary:
  "Can we really trust the accuracy of polls when they rely on the bravery of those willing to answer the call of the unknown number? 📞😂 Who knows, maybe the key to a more accurate poll is to start telemarketing our survey questions instead! 🤔📊 #DialingForData"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

  Commentary:
  "Seems like even your own self is ghosting you now! 📵😂 Maybe it's time for some self-reflection on your caller ID skills. #VoicemailVoices"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Don’t even bother contacting me on the Ouija Board after I die. I barely answer my texts now.

  Commentary:
  Sure thing! How about this: "If you think I'm bad at texting now, just wait until I'm ghosting you on the Ouija Board! 👻📱 #TextsFromTheAfterlife"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: “Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

  Commentary:
  Well, it seems like "charming honesty" has its limits when it comes to job interviews! 🍸💃 Guess it's time to swap those weaknesses for something a bit more work-appropriate, like saying you're "too detail-oriented" or "overly passionate about excel spreadsheets." Remember, save the fun stuff for the office holiday party! 😉

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: One of the best examples of someone posing a question that they already know the answer to is the WeightWatchers website asking me if I accept cookies.

  Commentary:
  "WeightWatchers website be like: 'Do you accept cookies?' 🍪 Well played, WeightWatchers, well played! Like, obviously I accept cookies – the real question is how many can I have without breaking my diet? 😂 #SneakyButSmart"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

  Commentary:
  "Seems like the concept of 'wine budget' was lost in translation for this person 🍷⏳ Next time, maybe they’ll stick to the 'price tag' rather than 'time spent' approach 😄⏳ #TimeIsNotMoney"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I find it hard to believe I used to just answer my phone when it rang. No caller ID. No idea who was calling. Just picked it up and said “hello” like a goddam daredevil.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the good ol' days of answering the phone blindly 📞😱 It was a wild time of thrilling unknowns! Ring, ring – cue the daredevil 'hello' 😆 Who needs caller ID when you've got nerves of steel? 🦸‍♂️💥 #BraveAnsweringSkills"

For even more funny answer quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny answer quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌