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40 Funny book quotes

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

3 months ago

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

3 months ago

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

3 months ago

After all the books are banned, they’ll move on to suggestive fruit.

3 months ago

Anytime someone throws a Great Gatsby themed party, I have to assume they never finished the book.

3 months ago

My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.

3 months ago

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

3 months ago

The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.

3 months ago

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

3 months ago

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

3 months ago

Do you think I’ll read a book again at some point or will I continue to dumb myself down with 12 hours of screen time?

3 months ago

Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

3 months ago

There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

3 months ago

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

3 months ago

I’m writing a parenting book called ‘Kids won’t listen until you scream like your mother did’.

3 months ago

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

3 months ago

I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

3 months ago

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

3 months ago

I never judge a book by its cover. People, though, I can tell are evil by their stupid faces.

3 months ago

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

3 months ago