I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

For my birthday, I want everyone to delete whatever old version of me they have in their head— it expired.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

There should be a tented fingers emoji. For when you’re feeling ruminative.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

If anyone wants to watch the Super Bowl on a large 8k TV, come on over to my place (and bring a large 8k TV).

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Shoutout to everyone who works hard to support their dog’s extravagant lifestyle.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.