93 funny book quotes - Wordgag

Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

May 21, 2026

There must be an invisible mechanism on my book. Every time I open it, my husband starts trying to talk to me.

May 21, 2026

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

May 21, 2026

I’m writing a parenting book called ‘Kids won’t listen until you scream like your mother did’.

May 21, 2026

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

May 21, 2026

I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

May 20, 2026

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

May 20, 2026

I never judge a book by its cover. People, though, I can tell are evil by their stupid faces.

May 20, 2026

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

May 20, 2026

Once you book a trip, it becomes hard to focus on life.

May 20, 2026

No parenting book prepares you for the stank of your kid’s soccer bag.

May 19, 2026

If you haven’t felt old yet today, try explaining to a teenager how little kids used to sit on a phone book at dinner to be able to reach the table.

May 19, 2026

Was in a bookshop and asked a worker if he could recommend books to me. He said, ‘Sure, they’re great.’

May 19, 2026

He thinks I’m so smart because I read books. Baby, they is FAWKING in these books.

May 19, 2026

Taylor Swift’s prenup is about to be longer than any book Travis Kelce has ever read.

May 19, 2026

There will be people in your life that say you have too many books. Those are not your people.

May 19, 2026

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

May 19, 2026

No thanks, I’m already in a committed relationship with reading.

May 19, 2026

Need a book club for people who all just happened to read the same book but hated it and now need to vent.

May 19, 2026

I just want someone who can read a book with me in silence, and then do ungodly things sometimes.

May 18, 2026

Laugh all you want. My Encyclopedia Britannica set will never require WiFi.

May 18, 2026

The sexual tension between me and buying more books.

May 18, 2026

Drink your coffee. Read your books. It’s chaos out there.

May 18, 2026

Moved the International Law book to the fiction section in the library.

May 18, 2026

Born to read books, forced to be a participating member of society.

May 18, 2026

Being a reader means voluntarily signing up for fictional heartbreak, and then recommending the pain to others.

May 6, 2026

The only love triangle I’m interested in is between me, my book, and my cozy blanket.

Apr 1, 2026

You don’t read Dostoevsky. You survive him.

Apr 1, 2026

The book characters may be fictional, but my emotional instability over them is real.

Apr 1, 2026

You can’t ’48 Laws of Power’ me.

Apr 1, 2026

The real pandemic was when everyone was reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck.

Apr 1, 2026

It’s funny how sometimes you buy a book, then read it in two days, and sometimes you buy a book, and it lives on your bookshelf for 12 years.

Apr 1, 2026

I want time to watch more films, but I also want time to read more books, but I also want time to look at more nothing.

Apr 1, 2026

“Don’t judge a book by its cover” is a beautiful, powerful sentiment that I fully ignore when book shopping.

Apr 1, 2026

Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

Apr 1, 2026

Self-help books are brain rot. Return to fiction.

Apr 1, 2026

I have been so toxic and horny lately, I should probably start, like, reading a book or something.

Apr 1, 2026

The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

Apr 1, 2026

After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

Apr 1, 2026

Reading a book and coming across a character’s name that you don’t know how to pronounce, so for the rest of the book, every time you see it, your brain just goes ‘skdjfkskakfk.’

Apr 1, 2026