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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡« has shared:

If you stare at your face in the back of a spoon you look a lot like someone who doesn’t know how to use cutlery.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡ͺ has viewed:

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡² has shared:

Before you laugh at kids who believe in Santa, remember there are grown men who believe that Cristiano Ronaldo is a better footballer than Lionel Messi.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡Ύ has copied:

My daughter asked me what it’s like to be a parent, so I woke her up at 3 AM to let her know that I couldn’t sleep.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ό has bookmarked:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you started eating chips.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡« has copied:

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡½ has shared:

Whoever allowed me to become an adult needs to be fired.

Someone from πŸ‡§πŸ‡§ has downloaded:

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ύ has copied:

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡· has copied:

I realized being an adult is just feeling too tired to function, and then functioning.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,298

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Making waves on Twitch:

These days, I only use Facebook as a birthday calendar.

Just shared via Instagram:

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

Going viral on TikTok:

Outside letting mosquitoes get some of this.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I want to make you say, β€œOh God,” in a way that makes God nervous.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My wife just pulled me into the other room, and I thought she wanted to have a serious talk, but she just wanted to give me M&M’s without the kids seeing.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

Just shared via X:

If I found E.T., I would’ve developed his jump shot.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase β€˜There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is β€˜The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ β€” which is so much better.

18 Funny caution quotes

Funny caution quotes bring a lighthearted twist to everyday warnings πŸš§πŸ˜‚ Perfect for adding a splash of humor to serious signs or just brightening your day 🌟 Whether you love clever wordplay or cheeky reminders, these witty sayings keep safety fun and memorable πŸŽ‰ So get ready to chuckle while you stay alertβ€”because caution doesn’t have to be boring! πŸ›‘πŸ˜„

New funny caution quotes πŸ‘‡

For even more funny caution quotes, hit next πŸ‘‡

All funny caution quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes πŸ‘Œ

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! πŸ˜‰βœŒοΈ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. πŸ˜‚πŸ’₯

πŸŽ‰πŸ₯‚ New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Reddit this month:

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

46 shares on Facebook this month:

I have a brain that wants to be alone, and a heart that wants to be loved.

69 shares on Telegram this month:

Water is a drink whose flavor is its temperature.

73 shares on Snapchat this month:

One interesting thing I learned in my thirties is that you can leave a bar before it closes.

56 shares on Snapchat this month:

Photogenic people are magical. You could snap a pic of them mid- explosive diarrhea, and they’d still look good.

56 shares on Discord this month:

A Monday every week is excessive.

51 shares on X this month:

If I were in charge of Nike, I’d change the slogan to β€œJust Say You Did It. Nobody Ever Checks.”

71 shares on Threads this month:

Can someone please fix the algorithm of my life?

88 shares on Threads this month:

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

19 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

β€œLove is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

25 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I wish someone would light up the way Siri does when I say, “Hey.”

7 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

22 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Sorry I marked myself as safe on Facebook after your PowerPoint presentation.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,550

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡»πŸ‡³ has downloaded:

Guy who normally applauds when the plane lands right before the pilot crashes it: “Boo!”

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡² has bookmarked:

My boss denied me a raise before my shift today. What’s some music you have never wanted to hear in a coffee shop?

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡° has downloaded:

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ώ has copied:

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? ’Cause your husband’s out here acting like you don’t exist.

Someone from πŸ‡°πŸ‡· has shared:

If you can’t wow them with wisdom, baffle them with bullshit.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡Ύ has copied:

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡Ή has viewed:

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡³ has bookmarked:

Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡Ώ has downloaded:

How many calories do you burn waiting to hear back?

Someone from πŸ‡±πŸ‡· has viewed:

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Just shared via Threads:

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

Just landed via Instagram:

Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination for chronic little treat buyers.

Trending via Facebook:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, β€œThat’s a pretty building.”

Trending via WeChat:

You really have to enjoy the way a man is acting in the beginning, because you will never meet that man again.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Accidentally used men’s shower gel today, and I can already feel myself lying for no reason.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Remember before social media you would have to pick up the phone and call someone to tell them how much you love bacon?

Just landed via TikTok:

Can’t believe I spent so many years of my life asking teachers if I was allowed to use the bathroom, and sometimes be told no. What the hell?

Shared recently on TikTok:

Toast doesn’t talk. How do you know it’s French?

Spotted on TikTok:

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

The Angry Birds assaulted me and made me rip their disgusting bong.

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