Back in the good old days, we didn’t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs. Posted on1 hour ago
Young people are too young nowadays. Back in the good old days, young people were my age. Posted on4 hours ago
I have consumed so much potato salad the last couple of days, I’m sweating mayo. Posted on6 hours ago
In six days God created heaven and earth. On the seventh day, in the interests of balance, the BBC interviewed Satan. Posted on16 hours ago
I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people? Posted on16 hours ago
Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything. Posted on19 hours ago
Screen time so high, I should send another risky message and then ignore my cell phone for three days. Posted on20 hours ago
Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them. Posted on22 hours ago
There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live. Posted on1 day ago
Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that. Posted on1 day ago
I would love to go back to the days when the biggest stress was finding the best hiding place when playing hide and seek. Posted on1 day ago
Some days you feel like a hotel light. You’re there, but you don’t have enough energy to really do anything. Posted on1 day ago
These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with her. Posted on2 days ago
My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on. Posted on2 days ago
Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional. Posted on2 days ago
Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me. Posted on2 days ago
Grandmas be like: Imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings. Posted on2 days ago
Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing? Posted on2 days ago
I think that McDonalds is putting an unhealthy amount of lettuce in the Big Macs these days. Posted on2 days ago
I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture. Posted on3 days ago
Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days. Posted on3 days ago
There are days when trying to control your class is like trying to hug a tornado. Posted on3 days ago
Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account? Posted on4 days ago