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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

The Secret Service was chasing me but I painted a tunnel on the side of a wall and they all ran into it.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I was talking to someone and combined “all good” and “no worries” by saying “all worries”, which was a lot more accurate.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

I always figure it out on my own, I just need to panic first.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Can’t believe we stayed up and screamed “Happy New Year” for this shit.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,463

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

No one lies more than a parent who says, “We’ll see.” You know we’re not seeing anything.

Seen just now on Discord:

Everyone has that one friend they’ve known for years and still have no idea what they actually do for a living, but it’s too late to ask.

Going viral on Twitch:

Trying to be cute today but my face isn’t cooperating.

Going viral on TikTok:

By the way, if you don’t buy anything on Black Friday, you can save up to 100%.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I become the most financially irresponsible person in the world the second I step into a Japanese stationary store.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.

Just shared via Threads:

JFK is the perfect name for this airport because it’s a bloody headache.

Breaking via Messenger:

Rewatching my story every time somebody heart it to see what they see.

142 Funny days quotes

Funny days quotes capture the ups, downs, and totally random moments that make each day a little adventure in comedy! 😂📅 Whether it’s a Monday that feels like a Thursday or a day where everything goes hilariously wrong, these quotes remind us that no two days are the same — and that’s exactly what makes life so entertaining. Bring on the daily drama and the laughs! 😆☀️🤪

New funny days quotes 👇

Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.

2 hours ago

animal, brown, daily, daily life, days, dog, fox, humor, humor style, lazy, lazy dog, life, mood, personality, quick, quick fox, style
The lion doesn’t concern himself with much of anything these days.

2 hours ago

anything, apathy, attitude, carefree, concern, confidence, days, humor, lion, much, relaxation
Coming back to your own bed after a few days away is peak coziness.

3 hours ago

after, away, back, bed, comfort, coming, coziness, days, homecoming, own, personal, personal space, relaxation, resting, retreat, sleep, space
Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

5 hours ago

around, attitude, baby, belief, believe, care, days, faith, God, here, humor, i, religion, spirituality, trending
Some days you’re the bat, some days you’re the ball.

12 hours ago

balance, ball, bat, days, downs, fun, humor, life, perspective, sports, ups, ups and downs
Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

12 hours ago

day, days, downs, fan, humor, life, perspective, shit, ups, ups and downs
Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

14 hours ago

26, days, destiny, getting, paid, times
I miss them days if you couldn’t rap, you didn’t.

16 hours ago

culture, days, expression, fun, i, miss, music, nostalgia, rap
I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

20 hours ago

care, days, humor, i, man, memory, nostalgia, remember, weather, younger, younger man
You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

1 day ago

arrest, couple, couple days, days, ever, house, house arrest, humor, isolation, mood, put, self-imposed, weird, weird mood, yourself

For even more funny days quotes, hit next 👇

All funny days quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Threads this month:

The best thing about the internet is that you’re never the dumbest one here.

55 shares on TikTok this month:

She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

27 shares on Threads this month:

Currently looking for tickets for the first flight back to the ’90s.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

14 shares on WeChat this month:

One day you’re young and carefree, and the next you have a favorite stove burner.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

26 shares on Telegram this month:

Beautiful women named Severe Thunderstorm Warning are blowing up my phone.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

What’s the best job for someone who cries very easily and cannot handle any criticism?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

How did the person who invented the spelling of “banana” decide when to stop?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing worse than realising you vented to the wrong person.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can’t handle me at my weirdest, then leave, because it gets weirder.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Dating for love isn’t working. Now I’m dating to conduct psychological experiments and collect data.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You think you’re your own worst critic? Just wait till you have kids.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Thank you for your password, now we are going to text you another password, then put that one in. Click ‘remember this computer’ so we can forget it.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,400

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Amazing if accurate: bleeding money.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

We’ve all at least once caught our toes when putting on our knickers and jumped around the room like idiots.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Got thrown out of the grocery store for holding a rotisserie chicken up like Simba again.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

The cinema vibe is my favorite, you literally forget about the world for like 2-3 hours.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

Just shared via Messenger:

Nobody warns you of the devastation two days of stuffing will bring upon your digestive system.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

Shared recently on Reddit:

It doesn’t matter how old you get, buying snacks for a road trip should always look like an unsupervised 9-year-old was given $100.

Just landed via TikTok:

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Spotted on TikTok:

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I read somewhere on the internet that 87% of what you read on the internet isn’t true, and I believe it.

Trending via WeChat:

Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

Live now on X:

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

Just shared via Messenger:

The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

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