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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

The main reason I got divorced was cause I got married.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

If you gain 4 pounds in one weekend, that just means you’re an overachiever.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

I don’t want to sleep like a baby, I want to sleep like a cat. 14 hours, no responsibilities, zero regrets.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I’m always best at the things I shouldn’t do.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,487

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

Breaking via Threads:

I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Life sucks. One day you have tiramisu, and then most other days you don’t. I hate that.

Making waves on Instagram:

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

Going bananas on YouTube:

If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge.

Spotted on Discord:

When you’re a parent, your skincare routine is just the steam from the dishwasher when you open it to find the coffee cup you just needed.

Breaking via Pinterest:

No longer praying on your downfall. I will be directly involved.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

Making waves on WeChat:

Rewatching Avengers: Age of Ultron. Despite the title, they never tell you how old Ultron is.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Please don’t invite me over if you have a leather chair that’s already peeling. I will peel it some more when you’re not looking.

35 Funny hurt quotes

Funny hurt quotes bring a hilarious twist to those moments when life stings a little 😅💔. They turn pain into punchlines, making it easier to laugh through the ouch! Whether you’re nursing a broken heart or just a bruised ego, these witty lines serve up some much-needed humor and healing 😂✨. Ready to smile through the hurt? Let’s dive into the funniest way to cope with life’s little mishaps! 🎉😎

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Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There’s literally no law that says you can’t put your friends down as your references and pretend they were your boss at an old job. Literally, there’s no law that says that.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

Divorcing my wife to focus on my porn addiction.

71 shares on X this month:

It’s so embarrassing when attention seekers feel the need to tell everybody it’s their birthday in, like, every conversation, which, for me, would be today, by the way.

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The only thing smart about you is your wisdom tooth.

72 shares on Messenger this month:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

I had no social life in high school. Even my imaginary best friend had a date for the prom.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

“I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

47 shares on Discord this month:

If you see me online, I’m not chatting. I’m busy ignoring the world and laughing at memes like it’s therapy.

56 shares on Reddit this month:

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

When I die, I hope it’s early in the morning, so I don’t have to go to work that day for no reason.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s a paradox that your nose is running and your feet smell.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The female rage of having so much to say but refusing to say it, cause their emotional intelligence is too low for them to comprehend it.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

A real smartphone would cut you off.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Whether you rip off a bandaid quickly or slowly, I find it’s best to ask the wearer’s permission first.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Lord, take away my suffering and give it to anyone who’s ever said, ‘Hey, Grok.’

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,702

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I could never work in an aquarium. I would have a penguin under my shirt at the end of the shift.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Do you also have teenagers whose styling motto is: freeze to death for coolness?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

My wallet is like an onion; opening it makes me cry.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

When you have the money, you can go a whole day without eating. But when you’re broke, the dizziness starts at 6 a.m.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

I am listening to Pharrell Williams’ smash hit song “Happy,” and understanding for the first time that it was truly intended to distress.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

Trending via TikTok:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

They don’t put cars in malls anymore, like they used to.

Spotted on X:

Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”

Seen just now on WeChat:

Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

There are two types of people in the world, those who have to go to Walmart, and those who get to go to Walmart.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

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