Funny quotes husband Page 2

61 Funny husband quotes

Funny husband quotes add a humorous twist to the everyday adventures of married life! 😂💍 Whether it’s playful jabs about his quirks or witty observations on marital dynamics, these quotes highlight the fun side of having a husband. Enjoy a laugh and celebrate the comedic moments in your relationship! 😄❤️

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

3 months ago

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

3 months ago

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

3 months ago

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

3 months ago

My husband is the do-it-yourself type. I asked him to take out the garbage and he said, “do it yourself.”

3 months ago

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

3 months ago

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

3 months ago

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

3 months ago

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

3 months ago

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

3 months ago

I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.

3 months ago

You know you’ve mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, “Take the thing off the thing,” and he immediately knows what to do.

3 months ago

Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.

3 months ago

When my husband says he’ll just be a minute, I know I have enough time to watch an entire television series, paint the house, or go on a quest.

3 months ago

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

3 months ago

My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.

3 months ago

If you listen to my husband snore, you don’t need Jurassic Park anymore.

3 months ago

My husband said I use a lot of makeup, so I showed him some makeup tutorials on TikTok and I don’t think he’ll be making that mistake again.

3 months ago

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

3 months ago

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

3 months ago