Everybody say a little prayer for my husband, he just told me to calm down.

Everybody say a little prayer for my husband, he just told me to calm down.

Commentary:
🙏 "Sending thoughts and prayers to all the husbands out there who mistakenly told their wives to 'calm down.' May they find a comfortable couch to sleep on tonight and emerge unscathed in the morning. Amen." 😅

I thought the noise my husband’s stomach was making was never going to end last night until I realized it was a motorbike outside.

I thought the noise my husband’s stomach was making was never going to end last night until I realized it was a motorbike outside.

Commentary:
Sounds like your husband's stomach was revving up to join a biker gang 🏍️🔊 Who knew it was just a case of mistaken identity with a noisy motorbike in the neighborhood! 😄

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

Commentary:
Well, they do say that finding a new husband can be quite the workout! 💪😂 Who needs the gym when you can just go husband-hunting instead? 🏃‍♀️🔍 #NewHusbandNewMe

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

Commentary:
Looks like someone found the perfect gift-wrapping solution for their husband's misdeeds! 🎁🌲 Who needs reindeer games when you've got remote control revenge tactics? 😆 #HolidayPranks #RelationshipGoals

Fun Fact or Trivia:
Did you know that the tradition of hanging stockings by the fireplace comes from a legend about Saint Nicholas? 🧦🔥 Legend has it that he gave gold coins to three sisters by dropping them down the chimney, and they landed in stockings that were hung to dry.

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

Commentary:
Oh, the ultimate crime – cheesecake theft in the name of good food and poor hearing! 🍰🚪 At least now he knows that if he wants a slice of that delicious dessert, he better make sure to shout louder next time! 🔒😂

I don't understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

Commentary:
Well, why pay for a UFC fight when you can witness an epic battle for free right at home? 🍭💪 Kids vs Candy – the showdown of the century! Who needs Pay-Per-View when you have sweets hitting the floor like a cage match! 🔔🍬 #ParentingStruggles

My husband is the do-it-yourself type. I asked him to take out the garbage and he said, "do it yourself."

My husband is the do-it-yourself type. I asked him to take out the garbage and he said, “do it yourself.”

Commentary:
Sounds like your husband took the whole "do it yourself" concept a bit too literally! 🤣 Guess the DIY motto applies to all tasks, even taking out the trash! 💪🗑️ #DIYNoMatterWhat

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

Every Reddit relationship post is like “My husband dropped a big piano on my head and when I emerged from the rubble my teeth had been replaced by the keys. Am I in the wrong?”

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic Reddit relationship saga – where even a simple love squabble turns into a full-blown melodrama! 🎹💔 It's like a soap opera meets a circus act, complete with dramatic plot twists and a keyboard of emotions. Who knew marriage could be a musical rollercoaster? 🎭🎶😂"

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's trying to spice up those boring work meetings! 😂📱 Just make sure he doesn't accidentally hit 'send' to his boss instead! 🙈💼 #MarriagePranks"

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

Commentary:
Looks like someone deserves a standing ovation for this kitchen-cleaning milestone! 👏🎉 Who needs the Oscars when you've got a spouse in a suit awaiting their well-deserved recognition ceremony in the living room? 🕺👔 #DomesticAwardsNight