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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

I survived a Monday, and for what? Tuesday? Disgusting.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

They should invent health insurance that insures your health.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Screw you guys, I’m gonna go make friends with the crows.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Apparently, staying to yourself and not bothering people bothers people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,328

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

With certain people, you get nauseous just hearing their name.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Hey Grok, scan through all my mutuals and find me a girlfriend, thanks!

Going bananas on Twitch:

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

Just shared via Snapchat:

No revenge, but I hope you stutter every time you try to dirty talk with someone.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

So you like bad boys? Cause I’m bad at everything.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The good news: once you get a PhD, friends and family will refer to you as doctor. The bad news: They will only do it when you’re wrong.

Spotted on YouTube:

I stay away from beef-flavored cat food. At no point could Sylvia realistically bring down a cow, and I don’t need that kind of ego in the house.

Making waves on Twitch:

Social anxiety so bad I wonder if I’m welcome at places I was invited to.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

18 Funny insanity quotes

Funny insanity quotes bring a hilarious twist to the chaos in our minds 🤪🌀, turning madness into laughter! Whether you’re feeling a little loopy or just love witty takes on life’s craziness, these gems will have you chuckling and nodding in agreement 😂💡. Get ready to embrace your quirky side and celebrate the fun in the frenzy! 🎉🤣

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Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on WeChat this month:

Girl, if the moon can block the sun, then you can definitely block your ex.

59 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m so grateful when people tell me to drive safe, cause then I remember not to drive off that cliff.

11 shares on Pinterest this month:

I learned Morse code, and then I couldn’t sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

Now that I got a library card, I’m moving differently.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

69 shares on Facebook this month:

When you’re a child, you want to be a teenager. When you’re a teenager, you want to be an adult. When you’re an adult, you want to be a cat.

27 shares on Twitch this month:

Technically, the Friday after July 4 isn’t a holiday. But I think we all know that Americans have a constitutional right to take the fifth.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

Sometimes the best thing about my job is that my chair turns.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Shade coming from a tree bearing no fruit could never phase me. Carry on.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Controlling your emotions while on your period is an extreme sport.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I once made the irresponsible decision to drink and drive and now I have to live the rest of my days with a coffee stain on my favorite sweater.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course the laundry has to be done, but the wine doesn’t drink itself either.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I stay up late every night, regret it in the morning, and the next day I do it all over again.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m always happy when I come home from shopping and the note on the table reminds me of what I wanted to buy.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,617

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I go to tattoo parlors and trick them into shaving my leg for me, and then leave.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Unfortunately, I will continue to get sexier and funnier.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

The best addition to any essay is, of course, a condescending tone.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Hate when I have to be mean. Why would you push a sweet girl this far?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

The reason I don’t trust polls is because the people being polled are people who willingly answer the phone when an unknown number is calling them.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

People text you when you look good in photos.

Just shared via Slack:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

Making waves on X:

They should invent a Twitter where the timeline doesn’t refresh against your will.

Just shared via Slack:

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

Trending via Telegram:

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Going viral on Discord:

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

If your man cheats on you, dump him and date his dad, make him your step son.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I just want a man to look at me the way Doc from ‘Back to the Future’ looks when something exciting happens.

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