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76 Funny men quotes

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

3 months ago

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

3 months ago

Men shouldn’t be allowed to download any app other than Wikipedia.

3 months ago

Every gift guide for men is like “A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey.”

3 months ago

Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

3 months ago

If women came with instructions, men wouldn’t read them anyway.

3 months ago

Of course there’s birth control for men. It’s called the way they act.

3 months ago

I always wonder who makes a more stupid face: women putting on make-up or men shaving?

3 months ago

Men have feelings too! Hunger, for example. Or thirst.

3 months ago

Like many men my age, my biggest regret is hiring the inexpensive hitman.

3 months ago

I am in favor of equal pay for men on OnlyFans.

3 months ago

I love when men go on diets they will be like “let me go for the healthy option”: the buffalo chicken quesadilla.

3 months ago

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

3 months ago

Autumn is when men run around like it’s summer and women like it’s winter.

3 months ago

If all men are the same, why does it take women so long to choose one?

3 months ago

Unlike men, women would immediately admit their mistakes if they had any.

3 months ago

My theory is that women’s voices contain frequencies that men simply can’t hear.

3 months ago

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

3 months ago

The sexual orientation where you’re attracted to both and men and women but they’re not attracted to you is called Bi-yourself.

3 months ago

I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

3 months ago