You know what I never see anymore are those old alcoholics with the weird noses.

My fondest childhood memory is being able to sleep through the entire night and waking up rested.

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

Sometimes I miss the time when there was only one idiot per village.

Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

Wish I could just go back to eating cookies and not knowing what day it was.

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

I miss when bills were none of my business.

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

My recliner and I go way back.

I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

Petition to bring back payphones in public places. I don’t want to give my kid a phone, I want to give him a quarter.

I’m bringing back “holy moly” and nobody can stop me.

How many of y’all are “burn a CD” and “lime wire” old?

My addiction to buying things I don’t need started at the school book fair.

In high school I was voted “most likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

A frightening number of young people alive today don’t know about Knight Rider.

We don’t make people walk the plank like we used to.

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re searching “Thanksgiving recipes that won’t cause heartburn.”