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I love how a film can be life-changing for one person and boring for another.

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They say you should dress for the job you want then send you home as โ€œthe stormtrooper suit is not appropriate work attireโ€.

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If you donโ€™t believe aliens walk amongst us, who else could write such unnatural dialogue in pharmaceutical commercials?

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Printers and computers treat each other like they broke up the night before, and you’re their mutual friend.

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I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying โ€œIgnore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being hereโ€.

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My dog is quite vain. Whenever the doorbell rings, he thinks it’s for him.

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Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

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Driving behind a salt truck on a snowy day is a Midwest police escort.

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Roses are red. Letโ€™s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

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That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.

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Home ยป Funny Nostalgia Quotes ยป Page 2

328 Funny nostalgia quotes

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