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64 Funny store quotes

Trending Funny Store Quotes 🔥

Sorry I’m late, my song came on at the grocery store.
Stores should accept “I bought this while depressed” as a valid reason for a return.
My superpower is always picking the line at the grocery store that moves the slowest.
When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.
Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

More funny store quotes 👇

4 months ago
Share →: Life is just a vicious cycle of needing to go to the grocery store.

Commentary:
Ah, the eternal struggle between an empty pantry and the never-ending need for more eggs and milk! 🛒🥚🥛 It's like a never-ending loop of debating whether to buy snacks or adulting essentials. Who needs a gym when you can just do grocery runs for your daily workout? 💪🏼😂 #TheStruggleIsReal #GroceryStoreLife
5 months ago
Share →: His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

Commentary:
Looks like this guy’s palm trees have bigger travel plans than most of us 🌴✈️💼 Perhaps his luggage is heavy because he’s packed everything but the kitchen sink for those Serengeti vibes! 😂🦒 #DestinationWeddingGoals #Eminem
5 months ago
Share →: You ever get road rage while walking behind someone moving slowly at the grocery store?

Commentary:
🚶‍♂️🤬 When you’re stuck behind a slow-moving shopper at the grocery store, it's like a whole new level of pedestrian road rage! You find yourself silently debating whether you should overtake them on the left or the right, all while trying to resist the urge to honk your non-existent horn. Ah, the joys of navigating the treacherous aisles of the supermarket at a snail's pace! 😅 #GroceryStoreTrafficJam
5 months ago
Share →: One day you’re cool and then the next, you realize your favorite pair of pants are sweatpants from the grocery store.

Commentary:
🤣 "Life's rollercoaster of fashion: one day strutting like a fashion icon, the next day realizing you're just a grocery store fashionista in sweatpants! 😎🛒 #FashionDrama"
5 months ago
Share →: Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

Commentary:
Absolutely! 🎉🔨 Imagine the sheer joy on their faces as they blow out the candles on a power tool-themed cake, surrounded by a backdrop of endless possibilities on the shelves of Home Depot. Just think of the party favors – tiny paint swatches, keychain tape measures, and of course, personalized hard hats for all the guests. 🎂🛠 Who needs a party venue when you can celebrate your special day aisle by aisle, right? 😄 #AgeIs
5 months ago
Share →: Sorry I’m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

Commentary:
"Apologies for my tardiness, but when Beyoncé starts playing in the produce aisle, punctuality goes out the window! 🛒🎶 #GroceryStoreJamSession"
5 months ago
Share →: Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle of stealthily dodging acquaintances in the produce aisle, perfecting the art of supermarket camouflage 🥦🕵️‍♂️ Who knew grocery shopping could turn into a modern-day game of hide and seek? #ProHideAndSeeker"
5 months ago
Share →: Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Commentary:
"Oh, the kingly art of choosing the slowest checkout line—truly a Jedi master level skill! 💁‍♂️⏳ May your patience be everlasting, and your groceries never wilt in the wait! 🛒😅 #ChampionOfCheckoutChaos"
5 months ago
Share →: Liquor store clerk: “Do you need help?” Me: “Yes, but I decided to come here instead.”

Commentary:
"Looks like the liquor store clerk got hit with a zinger! 🤣 Maybe they can recommend a good bottle to help with that burn! 🔥🍾 #SassyCustomer"
5 months ago
Share →: It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

Commentary:
"Wow, talk about getting some 'whine' with your wind workout! 🌬️🍷 Just breezing into the wine store like a true connoisseur. Maybe Mother Nature just knows you need a little vino after that intense cardio session! 💨💪🏼 #windyworkout"