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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

I have a mental illness that makes me think that people will change their minds if I present the correct arguments with the appropriate facts and data.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

I’m actually really fun once you get to know me (takes 3-4 years).

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

What is it called when you’re smart but everything you do is freaking stupid?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

YOLO because stupid people don’t know what Carpe Diem means.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

332 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,925

Funny Quotes Topics

17,098

Funny Quotes Images

14,925

Updated

Dec 13, 2025

Users Online

3,586

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

Just landed via TikTok:

There’s a word in modern Hungarian slang, egérmozi, which describes watching films (or shows) on your phone. It means “mouse cinema”.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Never forget that, just a couple of years ago, people were justifying paying $20,000 for a JPEG of an ape.

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Imagining vanilla beans enjoying the show as they throw shade from the organic aisle 😂🍦👻

aisle, baking, baking aisle, baking ingredient, booing, buying, everyone, extract, grocery, grocery store, humor, imitation, imitation vanilla, ingredient, shopping, store, vanilla, vanilla extract

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to flirt today.

1 month ago

flirt, fun, humor, need, promise, relationship, spontaneity, today, tomorrow
Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

1 month ago

ask, asking, conversation, humor, joke, menu, pharmacy, secret, secret menu
My brain at 2 a.m.: “You up?”

4 weeks ago

2, 2 a.m., a.m., am, brain, funny thought, humor, insomnia, late, late night, night, sleep, thought
Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

2 months ago

activity, age, changes, fitness, fun, fun activity, humor, i, life, life changes, mid-forty, parkour, take, think
White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.

1 month ago

black, brown, Christian, commentary, diversity, equality, gay, humor, identity, man, old, politics, same, satire, social, social commentary, straight, survival, taste, white, woman, yellow, young, zombie
Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

1 month ago

being, clothing, congratulations, disgust, fashion, humor, name, piece, sweater, year

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

I can do anything, as long as there’s a looming deadline and serious consequences.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Saw a shooting star and made a wish for everyone to stop talking to me.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Honestly, I don’t think I have any more new passwords left in me. You wanna steal my identity? Go ahead, I hope you enjoy debt and terrible posture.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Slack:

I love replying to people within seconds. Hello. I am here. Always.

Just landed via X:

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

Breaking via WeChat:

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

Shared recently on X:

Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

Making waves on Threads:

I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to flirt today.

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

My brain at 2 a.m.: “You up?”

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Happy birthday to everyone, for the rest of your lives. I can’t do this anymore.

All the wrong decisions in this country are based on the fact that my balcony faces out the back and so I can’t speak to the people.

Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I love Queen and David Bowie, but why did they steal that riff from Vanilla Ice?

The websites that let me check out as a guest are the real heroes.

Just had a fight with every item in my closet. They started it.

Avocado toast at a cafe: $10. Avocado toast from Uber Eats: $25. Avocado toast made at home: $550 (my labor is worth $115 a minute).

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I had a heated but interesting discussion today and they even agreed with me at the end. That’s exactly why I love talking to myself.

The guy in the stall beside doesn’t know he can shut off his camera shutter.

Did I eat too much candy today? My stomach says yes, but my heart says no.

I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.

Thank God I have a cat. Who else is gonna shit in this box I have?

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

Our parents were right all along, the music is too loud.

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

Honestly, will never top the year I told everyone I was going to be Amelia Earhart for Halloween, and then didn’t show up to the party.

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

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In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to flirt today.

Asking the pharmacy if they have a secret menu.

My brain at 2 a.m.: “You up?”

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

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