I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your dog can stay home for the hour you’re at the grocery store or restaurant.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

If you listen closely, you can hear me not caring.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Being Leonardo DiCaprio is like driving in a school zone. You don’t go above twenty-five.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

When I was a little kid, I used to think, “This little pig went to market,” meant it was going shopping!

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I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Ruin a perfectly nice trip out with your child by bringing your child.