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New funny quotes: 56 this month

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Updated: Mar 21, 2026

 

 

 

 

125 Funny week quotes

Funny week quotes tackle the rollercoaster of highs, lows, and those is-it-Friday-yet moments that make up our workweek! 😂📅 Whether it’s surviving Monday, celebrating Friday’s arrival, or realizing that the weekend was way too short, these quotes remind us that every week is an adventure in itself. Because when the week is tough, laughter is the best way to make it through! 😆💼🚀

I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

It’s legally required that you lose a frisbee onto the roof within one week of purchase.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

Posted onJan 30, 2026

All billionaires must submit a list of five things they did for society in the last week or their wealth shall be confiscated.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

The week between Christmas and New Year’s should be studied as it is clearly a wormhole, disturbing time and space.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

It sure is strange that after Tuesday the rest of the week spells WTF.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

Sorry, I can’t hang out tomorrow. I hung out with people a week ago and I’m still recovering from that.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s Wednesday.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

I don’t wanna be dramatic but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

Valentine’s Day this week. If you have a crush on me we still have time to get cards and shave.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

Not only is it not Friday, but it’s not even Thursday.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

Posted onJan 30, 2026

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

“Are you okay?” No, it’s literally Monday every 15 minutes.

Posted onJan 30, 2026

I accidentally take a screenshot of my phone background at least once a week.

Posted onJan 29, 2026

I was so excited thinking tomorrow was Friday only to find out it is definitely not Friday.

Posted onJan 29, 2026

This whole week could have been an email.

Posted onJan 29, 2026

Me, one week before the new year: Not to brag, but I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of the year.

Posted onJan 29, 2026

One week of daily crunches and I have abs…urdly underestimated how long it will take to see results.

Posted onJan 29, 2026

I was really happy about it being Friday until I realized it was only Wednesday.

Posted onJan 29, 2026

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

Posted onJan 29, 2026

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

Posted onJan 29, 2026

Not only is it not Friday, it’s not even Thursday.

Posted onJan 29, 2026

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

Posted onJan 29, 2026

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

Posted onJan 28, 2026

The first 7 days of the week aren’t for me.

Posted onJan 28, 2026

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

Posted onJan 28, 2026

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Posted onJan 28, 2026

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

Posted onJan 23, 2026

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

Posted onJan 23, 2026

Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

Posted onJan 23, 2026

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

Posted onJan 23, 2026

Tonight, my poor liver has to pay again for what went wrong during the week.

Posted onJan 22, 2026

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

Posted onJan 22, 2026

A Monday every week is excessive.

Posted onJan 22, 2026

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

Posted onJan 22, 2026

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