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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

When I say I’m tired, the “of people” is silent.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

I’ve never completed a marathon, but I’ve listened to my mom tell a story, so don’t talk to me about endurance.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh no, it’s a cop”?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Journaling was the most useless thing l ever attempted. Not only am I still suffering but now there’s evidence.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Deleted all dating apps, instead I’m just going to walk into a grocery store and look confused.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

4 hours ago

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

Shared recently on TikTok:

“You let your cat on the bed?” I would put her on my life insurance.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I can’t wait until my kids have a place of their own so I can come barging through their door and say “what’s for dinner? I don’t like that. Can you give me money for McDonald’s?”

Live now on Telegram:

If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’m so jealous of people who live near a coastal area. What do you mean you can just go to the beach on a random Tuesday?

Spotted on Twitch:

I love when men go on diets they will be like “let me go for the healthy option”: the buffalo chicken quesadilla.

Shared recently on TikTok:

It’s amazing, when it’s your birthday you really feel the love from family, friends, lovers, former dentists, yoga studios and various smootheries.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Screaming into the abyss has lost some of its effectiveness, if I’m being honest.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’m going to be real with you. My dinners lately are just sort of me throwing things into a pot like a witch in a cartoon.

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

4 months ago

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, it looks like we've officially entered the land of whimsical weekday wonders! Just remember, if you find yourself lost in the time warp between "thisday" and "thatday," don't worry – you can always catch up on "yesterday" and look forward to "nextday"! Just don't get stuck in the eternal loop of "someday" – that's where productivity goes to take a vacation!

creativity, day, humor, naming, nextday, otherday, someday, thatday, thisday, time, today, week, yesterday

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

4 hours ago

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Me, at the intervention: “Ah look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place.”

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I love your niche references! Are you typically ignored in large groups, by any chance?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Bone broth? Oh, you mean skeleton soup.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

“Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Yeah, because I won’t be leaving my bed.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I was dropped as an adult.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

That moment when you’ve gone through Insta, Facebook, X and the new emails and you know you should start working now. Luckily, there’s YouTube.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I don’t want kids, but I do want grandkids. Hoping science finds a way.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

Do animals have celebrities? Like, do birds all recognize that one bird who sings really well?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’ve never been to hell, but I once forgot to buy batteries for the toys on Christmas morning. The sound is still ringing in my ears.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

Reported on LinkedIn:

I’m not bossy, I just know exactly what you should be doing.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

Reported on Twitch:

My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.

Trending via Threads:

If insomnia were a sport, I’d have endorsement deals.

Trending via TikTok:

Everyone is posting their vacation pictures and I’m like… I went shopping.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I have had songs stuck in my head and I have had people stuck in my head, I highly recommend songs.

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