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New funny quotes: 10 this month

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Updated: Jun 19, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

126 Funny week quotes

Funny week quotes tackle the rollercoaster of highs, lows, and those is-it-Friday-yet moments that make up our workweek! 😂📅 Whether it’s surviving Monday, celebrating Friday’s arrival, or realizing that the weekend was way too short, these quotes remind us that every week is an adventure in itself. Because when the week is tough, laughter is the best way to make it through! 😆💼🚀

Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Congress taking an entire month off in a country where most people don’t get more than 2 weeks’ vacation is awesome.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Super excited about a brand new week of self-sabotage.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Jobs are so clingy. Why do you need to see me 40 hours a week?

Posted onMay 30, 2026

My favorite delusion is that I just need to get through this week.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Who the hell keeps letting it be Monday again?

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Your coworker is not hot; they’re just within 10 feet of you 40 hours a week.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Using Twitter means knowing the news a week before everyone else.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

January: the Monday of months.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

It’s funny how everyone who was all about Christmas a week ago is suddenly into New Year’s now.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

That gap between Christmas and New Year’s when you can’t tell what day of the week it is.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Amazon cart: Order now and it will arrive today. Amazon confirmation email: LOL, just kidding, it’ll be a week from tomorrow.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

No, sorry, next week won’t work. I’ll be a shadow of what I once was.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Monday holds the record for being the worst day of the week.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

The week be like Mooonnnday, Tueeesday, Weeeeednesday, Thuuuuursday, FriSatSun

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Super excited about a brand new week of questioning all my life choices.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

“What’s your 5-year plan?” I’ll probably go to the movies next week, I think.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

You don’t do laundry once a week. You do it constantly, endlessly, forever—until you die.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

…and so ends another week of me not becoming unexpectedly rich.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

The week before your period doesn’t make any sense… until you realize it’s the week before your period.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

I noticed you haven’t posted in a few weeks, and just wanted to thank you.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

We work all week to work some more around the house all weekend long. Isn’t life grand?

Posted onMay 26, 2026

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

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