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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Anyone else think it’s weird how cancer kills more people than any other astrological sign.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Hate it when I pull out a winter coat and there’s no money stashed in it.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

My five-year plan is to get back my whimsy, joy, childlike wonder.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

The evening news: Where they begin with “Good evening” and then proceed to tell you why it’s not.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Sometimes I’m grateful that thoughts don’t appear as bubbles over our heads.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Being an adult is like folding a fitted sheet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1809 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,971

Funny Quotes Topics

14,774

Funny Quotes Images

11,971

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Using my one phone call to call Santa.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

Just shared via TikTok:

Do we barbecue with women or without salad?

Trending via Reddit:

I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

Live now on Instagram:

Imagine being hungry and some guy tries to teach you to fish.

Live now on Instagram:

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

Just landed via Telegram:

Halloween is cool, but nothing is spookier than my previous choices in men.

Spotted on X:

Okay, new plan, I’m going to marry a Kardashian.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

Home » Funny While Quotes » Page 3

33 Funny while quotes

More funny while quotes 👇

2 weeks ago
Share →: I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

Commentary:
Looks like you've gone hog wild! Time to reel it in and give the pigs a break! 🐷🥓😂
2 weeks ago
Share →: I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Commentary:
"Who needs a detective thriller when I've got a live episode of 'Where's My Package?' on my porch! 📦🕵️‍♂️😆"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

Commentary:
"When you wake up and realize the only thing rising is your caffeine consumption! 😅☕️ #MistakesMakeUsHuman"
3 weeks ago
Share →: Kissing while both wearing baseball caps is so hard. How do baseball players do it?

Commentary:
"Maybe they call a time-out. 😂⚾️👒 #BaseballKisses"
1 month ago
Share →: If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

Commentary:
"When I blow out birthday candles, I become a philosopher. 🎂💨🤔"
1 month ago
Share →: I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

Commentary:
"When the subtitles whisper 'smooching,' but your heart screams 'whoa, get a room!' 🤭💋🎬"
1 month ago
Share →: My boyfriend talks to everyone while I stand by quietly, planning my escape.

Commentary:
"When your relationship status is 'CEO of Small Talk Evasion' 😅🚪🏃‍♀️"
1 month ago
Share →: You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well go while I’m here.”

Commentary:
"When opportunity knocks… or rather, flushes! 🚽🤣 #BathroomBreaksAreTheNewSnacks"
2 months ago
Share →: Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

Commentary:
"When you finally get a day off, and your couch turns into your office 🤦‍♂️📺 #WorkaholicLife"
2 months ago
Share →: Crying while wearing a backpack has unlocked a new level of humiliation I did not know was possible.

…

Commentary:
"Next up: crying while doing a plank in a crowded gym! 😅🎒😭 #FitnessEmotions"

For even more funny while quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny while quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

If every day is a gift, today is socks.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

The only ex I cheated on is my exam.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

When God closes a door, he opens a window. Unfortunately, we are in a submarine.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Our pronunciation of the word “colonel” does feel like group psychosis.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I woke up this morning and my hair looked like a Beatles lyric. Here, there, and everywhere.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

Going viral on Telegram:

Started from the bottom, now we a little bit above the bottom.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.

Just shared via Slack:

How long does it take for an apple to turn brown after you cut it? Never mind.

Just shared via Messenger:

I was googling about the best time to visit the Maldives. It’s when you have money.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

Going viral on Reddit:

All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.

Trending via Pinterest:

My body looks like I have a great personality.

Seen just now on Reddit:

What’s a polite way to tell someone you hope they get mauled by a bear?

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Activity Log ✨

33 Funny while quotes

More funny while quotes 👇

For even more funny while quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny while quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

It really annoys me when people use the wrong word and don’t have the humidity to admit it.

Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.

Let’s take a family trip in this beautiful weather so the kids can complain about family, trips, and beautiful weather that has no wifi.

If a man says “I don’t deserve you,” believe him. Because he is about to show you why.

I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

Hiccups became less popular. I never hear people hiccuping anymore. What’s going on there?

Food gives you energy to nap more.

Absolutely destroyed my bed last night… I cuddled those covers so hard.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

This quote is invisible. Only people who masturbate a lot can read it.

I ordered mushrooms on my pizza. When do they kick in?

Sorry I was late, I was frantically applying to other jobs.

Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.

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