Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

It’s pretty apt that the ‘i’ is in the middle of ‘hurricane’.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

That Coldplay CEO guy was held more accountable than the president.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

No one is more stressed than someone who has seen their potential and knows they aren’t living up to it.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,388

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

Seen just now on Threads:

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

Just landed via Threads:

My favorite genre of tweet is conservative guy asking Grok, ‘Is this true?’ and then arguing with it when it doesn’t give him the answer he likes.

Making waves on Discord:

A pie where there isn’t pastry on the bottom isn’t a pie. It’s soup with a hat.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

Going bananas on WeChat:

There I was, quietly reliving my dream of having my own house, when suddenly I was attacked by insane prices.

Spotted on Discord:

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

Gimme coffee or I’ll sleep amok!

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Without coffee, I turn into a sleep-crazed maniac! ☕️😴 Better watch out or you'll witness the dawn of the 'sleeping monster'! 😂"

amok, caffeine, coffee, humor, sleep, wakefulness

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

0

2 months ago

90, anxiety, happen, humor, i, irony, life, never, seems, things, working, worry, worrying
I lost my composure in 1992. I haven’t seen it since.

0

2 months ago

1992, composure, humor, i, loss, lost, memory, time
You’re never too old to become less of an idiot.

0

2 months ago

age, growth, humor, idiot, less, lessons, life, life lessons, never, old, personal, personal growth, self-improvement, too, wisdom
Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

0

2 months ago

candles, date, even, fire, heat, humor, intense, intensity, passion, romantic, seeking, sweating
Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

0

2 months ago

beauty, beauty product, caffeine, hair, humor, joke, morning, morning routine, product, routine, shampoo, used, work
lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

0

2 months ago

communication, humor, internet, internet slang, laugh, lol, loud, punctuation, slang, texting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on WeChat this month:

Asking my landlord if he has any Cyber Monday deals.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

I think if you ask Kanye for a million at the right time, he’ll give it to you.

37 shares on Pinterest this month:

Some people get a bit strange as they get older. Not me. I’ve always been like that!

85 shares on Discord this month:

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.

89 shares on Facebook this month:

Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

97 shares on Instagram this month:

Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.

80 shares on Discord this month:

Whoever said it was okay to let your pets sleep in your bed, thanks a lot, now my goldfish is dead.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

29 shares on Reddit this month:

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

33 shares on Telegram this month:

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Washing your face is actually multitasking because you are also washing your hands and forearms and shirt and countertop and feet and floor and hair.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

God invented war so that Americans can learn geography.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

I just ate, and now I’m going swimming, so I guess this is goodbye.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

One thing nobody gives pigeons enough credit for is their ability to get out of the way on the sidewalk. A lot of you could learn a thing or two from them.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Voice messages. Just call, goddamnit!

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

Live now on YouTube:

No one ever talks about the 6th love language (being annoying).

Spotted on X:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Making waves on YouTube:

If you’re going to stare all night and not say hello, do you mind taking your fingers and squishing my head from across the room?

Trending via TikTok:

Uninstalling Instagram can increase your IQ by 10%.

Breaking via Discord:

I’m a single issue voter. I’m single and it’s an issue.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

“I’m currently not accepting new items on my to-do list.”

Shared recently on Messenger:

Wish I came with subtitles because I mumble a lot.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Gimme coffee or I’ll sleep amok!

Related Funny Posts 🤝

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

I lost my composure in 1992. I haven’t seen it since.

You’re never too old to become less of an idiot.

Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨