Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.
  • The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”
  • My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.
  • I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.
  • Apologies for the delays. The suitcase smashing machine has broken down, so we’re having to smash suitcases by hand.
  • Normalize talking to people in the gym who have earbuds in, they love that.