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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I’ve taken a long, hard look at myself. I won’t be doing that again.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

No one shoots at your feet and tells you to dance anymore.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

When your electric toothbrush dies, it becomes a regular toothbrush. Don’t freak out. Just calm down and remember your training.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Sometimes I do random acts of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Christmas lights: the only thing bright around here besides my personality.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Dec 25, 2025

3,615

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Got me some lemons now for the cold. I hope the tequila helps.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.

Shared recently on Slack:

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.

Making waves on Threads:

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Using Indeed feels like being an ugly guy on a dating app.

Going viral on Facebook:

“A healthy lifestyle is all about balance,” I say as I drive through Taco Bell after working out.

Making waves on Messenger:

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.

2 months ago

0

Half of all the problems in life can be solved by duct tape. For the rest, you’re gonna have to reboot that computer.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Remember folks, duct tape fixes almost everything, from leaky pipes to broken hearts… 🛠️💔 But when it comes to dealing with technology tantrums, brace yourselves for a good ol' reboot dance 💻🔄. Just another day in the life of a tech-savvy problem solver! 😂"

computer, duct, duct tape, humor, life, problems, reboot, rest, solution, tape

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

0

2 months ago

apology, awkward, awkward moment, bite, flirt, funny interaction, humor, i, interaction, moment, relationship, sorry, trying
Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

0

2 months ago

50, divorce, end, fact, humor, i, joke, marriage, married, only, relationship, satire, wedding, why
I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

0

4 months ago

appreciate, appreciation, Bob, Bob Ross, cloud, clouds, fluff, fluffy, humor, i, ross, wanted
It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

0

1 month ago

experience, funny experience, heat, hot, hot weather, humor, hydroplaning, i, just, office, office humor, seat, toilet, weather, work
Spotify Wrapped: February was your basketball watermelon loudspeaker phone call hip hop moment.

0

2 months ago

basketball, call, February, hip, hip-hop, hop, loudspeaker, moment, phone, Spotify, Spotify Wrapped, watermelon, wrapped
Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

0

2 months ago

activity, Christmas, couple, day, decorating, fun, fun activity, holiday, house, humor, re-decorating, spent, wife

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

25 shares on Threads this month:

I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.

28 shares on TikTok this month:

You really have to enjoy the way a man is acting in the beginning, because you will never meet that man again.

81 shares on Discord this month:

Sometimes it’s the conversations you have with yourself that take the longest.

28 shares on Threads this month:

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

60 shares on TikTok this month:

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Teens be like, “You know that crumbled up piece of paper that’s been on the table all week? I need it for school.”

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Doctors are always giving me Ibuprofen. Man, give me something I can sell.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s cute when kids say what they want to be when they grow up. You’re gonna write emails on the computer, buddy.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s only 9am and I’ve already ruined my son’s entire life by giving him the banana with the brown spot on it.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m in a long-distance relationship with the stars.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Underrated life skill: only doing what feels genuinely right and letting everything else go.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I love Queen and David Bowie, but why did they steal that riff from Vanilla Ice?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,886

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Give it to me straight, doc, what can I do to be healthier besides changing my entire lifestyle?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Apartments show you 44 pics of the lobby. Man, I ain’t living in there.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

I googled my symptoms, and I just need a day with you in the mountains.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

As a kid, I used to watch The Wizard of Oz and wonder how someone could talk if they didn’t have a brain. Then I got social media.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Anyone know how to create an Outlook rule that sends every email to junk, deletes it, blocks the sender, and sets my laptop on fire?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

So many people to disappoint, so little time.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

When I say, “I have to be someplace,” what I mean is, “I want to go home.”

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

Just shared via Telegram:

A Southerner dies every time you people type “ya’ll” instead of “y’all,” btw.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Damn, how much daylight are they trying to save? It’s dark as hell.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I had a good haircut.

Going viral on Facebook:

Clothes too dirty for the closet, but too clean for laundry. Welcome to: the chair.

Spotted on Instagram:

“Don’t bite the hand that feeds you!” Maybe just don’t bite hands. Shouldn’t have to qualify it.

Going viral on Telegram:

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

We live in a cosmic tornado, but sure, let’s all get jobs.

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