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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Who called it a biological clock and not an egg timer?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

The cheapest way to fly is off the handle.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

I’m sorry, being on social media gave you the impression I’m a social person.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Probably the worst thing about the death of print media is the devastating effect it’s having on the producers of traditional ransom notes.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

I don’t follow washing instructions, you’re my clothes you don’t tell me what to do.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s. Your ability to be sneaky will now be hindered by your bones cracking when you walk.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,225

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

18 hours ago

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via LinkedIn:

No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.

Going viral on Instagram:

Know what goes good with beer? Another one.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I love Fleetwood Mac, but “thunder only happens when it’s raining” is just not true.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

Reported on Instagram:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Just landed via Pinterest:

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

One minute you’re young and fun and the next, you need a tow out of a beanbag chair.

Live now on TikTok:

I’m starting to think that the secret to having a happy life is avoiding people.

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

5 months ago

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs hair dye when you can just embrace your 'wisdom highlights'? It's like your hair is trying to tell you, 'Hey, I may be gray, but I've got all the answers!'"

aging, confidence, gray, gray hair, hair, highlight, humor, wisdom

Response

Sure! Here are a few options for usernames and

Feb 25, 2025

Who knew acquiring knowledge could result in such a trendy hairdo! Now if only I could choose where my wisdom highlights appear. At least the folks at the hair salon didn’t coin this term; we’d already be paying premium! 💇‍♀️💡😅

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2382 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,544

Funny Quotes Topics

15,225

Funny Quotes Images

12,544

18 hours ago

3,455

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

The Wi-Fi stops working for 2 minutes, and suddenly I start thinking about life.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Coffee is better when you have no work.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

They should invent a day where I don’t think.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse, except for money.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to people who have innate psionic abilities and would use their abilities for the betterment of humanity if given a chance.

Trending via Pinterest:

Stay humble, you are someone’s weird coworker.

Live now on Snapchat:

When you meet twins, demand to speak with the one in charge.

Going viral on X:

If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

Spotted on Threads:

We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

Shared recently on Slack:

Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

Trending via Facebook:

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

The lion is starting to concern himself with things he’s been trying to ignore.

Going viral on Threads:

I have had songs stuck in my head and I have had people stuck in my head, I highly recommend songs.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

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