Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I used to be cool, but now I just can’t wait to get on the couch by 7 p.m., in my pajamas, with a quilted blanket.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Even when I look up the slang of today’s kids, I still have no idea what it means.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

So, if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me, because I am fluent in silence.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I had a marvelous time ruining everything.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Imagine you’re living inside a tiny mushroom house… with a tiny chimney… deep in the woods… no one knows you exist… you make soup in a tiny pot… you are free.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,559

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I’m just a girl looking for another snack.

Just shared via Facebook:

Parallel lines have got so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Adulting is getting excited to go home and get into bed.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Answering your cell when you don’t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.

Shared recently on Discord:

A cheat code to adulting is to always have something to look forward to, no matter how small or big.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

Just landed via Pinterest:

“Oh, I’d love to but I can’t.” Translation: I don’t want to so I won’t.

Just landed via Facebook:

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

Spotted on Pinterest:

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

Making waves on Instagram:

If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

I’m attracted to people that no one pays attention to.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Invisible lovers: the ultimate way to avoid awkward small talk! 👻🤔🤣

attention, attraction, humor, people, personality

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

0

2 months ago

admiration, attention, dating, humor, i, love, me, meme, need, passion, relationship, someone
I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

0

2 months ago

falling, humor, i, job, love, me, people, quit, relationships, workplace
The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

0

2 months ago

25, age, anything, confusion, expectations, finish, i, job, life, marriage, married, plan, school, simple, understand
Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

0

2 months ago

connection, friend, friends, fun, go out, life, lifestyle, mysterious, please, save, social, social life
The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

0

2 months ago

activity, comfort, comfort food, eat, food, fun, fun activity, happiness, key, order, pizza, repeat
Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

0

2 months ago

deficiency, fast, health, health humor, humor, iron, iron deficiency, joke, nutrition, pun, stand, too, wellness

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on YouTube this month:

People say that they want to be tall, but don’t realize how many times tall people are assaulted by spiderwebs.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so don’t try to tell me I’m not romantic.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

90 shares on Instagram this month:

What if i just replied “not now kitten daddy’s busy” to all my work emails?

67 shares on Slack this month:

Not to brag, but no one has ever accused me of trying too hard.

96 shares on TikTok this month:

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

82 shares on YouTube this month:

Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

Actually, you’re having a conversation with yourself. I’m just here so you don’t appear totally insane.

35 shares on Threads this month:

Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Damaged inside, but outside we keep it gangsta.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

They should invent a food that sounds good for dinner tonight.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

If you steal enough FitBits, they’ll just give you one for your ankle.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Is this art or trash?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

It’s so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

What doesn’t kill you gives you a twisted, dark sense of humor.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Today, I used a wire I’ve kept in my box of cables since 2011. Please applaud.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

I bet there’s a couple of seconds on that medieval torture stretcher rack where it feels incredible.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

You ever go to a baseball game and hear a guy yelling, “hot dogs! hot dogs!” over and over again? That’s me, looking for hot dogs.

Trending via Pinterest:

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Science can’t explain it, but some hairs can grow up to a quarter inch overnight. Never in a good spot though.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

Just landed via Messenger:

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Guy inventing jogging: how can I suffer, but with music?

Shared recently on TikTok:

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m attracted to people that no one pays attention to.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨