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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

My soul leaving my body when the lecturer says “let’s hear from someone who hasn’t spoken yet”

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I’m at a place in my life when errands are starting to count as going out.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Not sure what’s longer: a microwave minute or watching a video while someone else is holding the phone, insisting it’s hilarious.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

Can I come over and figure you out?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

We need a word for a type of person who spends all their time working to live in a city so they can be near cool things, but they don’t actually like going out.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,408

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

Shared recently on X:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

Broadcasted on X:

You feel me? Bro, I haven’t felt anything since the Scholastic Book Fair.

Breaking via X:

Don’t forget to be mean to strangers on the internet today, for no reason whatsoever.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I know Jesus was a carpenter, but I think he would’ve been a better plumber, you know, with the water thing.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Staring at your phone is a great way to miss a few years of your life.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Best thing about staying in an Airbnb is trying to see what’s in that one locked closet.

Going viral on Snapchat:

You know you’re getting old when the radio stations and bars play music you don’t like, but the supermarket is throwing out banger after banger.

Live now on Snapchat:

Welcome to your 40s. Your bra wins the Oscar for the best actor in a supportive role.

Making waves on Telegram:

My favorite part about standing in line is watching the other lines move more quickly.

It’s a good friend who, when you want the truth, knows what truth you want.

20 hours ago

Witty quote about friends knowing your preferred truth, humorous and playful in tone.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the delicate dance of friendship – where honesty meets diplomacy! 🤔🤷‍♂️ Your good friend knows which shade of truth to serve, like a skilled bartender mixing just the right cocktail for your soul. 🍹👭 Cheers to those who know when to add a splash of honesty without drowning you in it! 🌊😄"

communication, friend, good, good friend, honesty, relationship, truth, understanding, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on TikTok this month:

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

30 shares on X this month:

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

65 shares on Slack this month:

What is it called when you were overthinking, and it turns out you were right?

56 shares on Facebook this month:

A more accurate description would be ‘The Darker Web’.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

So cool that avocados come with those little wooden balls inside, I think I have collected the whole set.

87 shares on Facebook this month:

When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

39 shares on Pinterest this month:

Swimming is so embarrassing, everyone can see you want to be alive.

39 shares on Messenger this month:

Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.

78 shares on YouTube this month:

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The walk of shame, except it’s me at a bowling alley walking back to sit down after I knock down zero pins with bumpers.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I like to describe the difference between theory and practice with shopping lists and receipts.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s no reason my stomach should be growling, I just gave it some iced coffee.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Just found out my 84-year-old neighbour is on his own tomorrow, so I’ve just been over to collect his spare chairs to borrow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,390

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Only two things are certain: death, and Princess Diana’s face on at least one grocery store magazine.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Shutting up is gluten-free. Maybe add that to your diet, princess.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I love how all the Black Friday deals this year are just the price of the item before the tariffs.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Jesus, I need money to organize your birthday.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

The difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body is that I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Labubu?! Sounds like a name picked mid-sneeze!

Breaking via TikTok:

I’ll kill the vibe, so you don’t have to.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

If A-B-C-D didn’t take their sweet time in the alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to sprint every time.

Just landed via Threads:

The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

Just landed via Facebook:

Men want to meet up too easily. What if I plan to sacrifice you?

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

Freshly posted on X:

From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

The brand name Oral B is so funny to me. WTF does the B stand for?

Breaking via Snapchat:

It’s a beautiful morning. Lots of people out walking their phones.

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