It’s a paradox that your nose is running and your feet smell.

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I’m at the age where I consider any picture of me taken in the last ten years “current.”

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I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

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The note on this boxed wine says ‘Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.

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In my opinion, those who go jogging on a Sunday morning certainly don’t have a comfortable sofa.

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No one told me adulting would involve trying to avoid so many scams.

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Ever read a post multiple times, still tilt your head and whisper, “What?!”

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My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

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I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

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I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

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My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.