Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Please don’t take illegal substances. Or at least, don’t take MY illegal substances.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones — I want mine weak in the knees about me.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Laziness is the mother of all bad habits, but ultimately she is a mother, and we should respect her.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

“Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,782

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

Going viral on Discord:

If you’ve never had a cheeseburger change your mood, you’ve never had a cheeseburger.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

Just landed via Instagram:

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

Going viral on Snapchat:

We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

Just landed via Instagram:

Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Prior to the arrival of Paper and Scissors, Rock faced no competition.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

Trending via Twitch:

I be like, “Who’s praying on my downfall?” as if I don’t make self-destructive life decisions.

Seen just now on Slack:

I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

Men are very good at being women lately.

3 weeks ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When makeup tutorials start looking like magic tricks, you know men have leveled up! 💄✨🤣"

being, gender, good, humor, men, stereotype, woman, women

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.

0

2 months ago

adult, age, humor, irony, me, mistake, people, perception
I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

0

1 month ago

bagel, cheese, craving, cream, cream cheese, food, humor, i, need, self-care, snack, therapy
I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

0

5 months ago

communication, feedback, humor, i, insane, insane person, interaction, know, let, media, online, online interaction, people, person, social, social media, think, thought, thoughts, type
Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

0

1 month ago

couch, day, day off, home, humor, i, leisure, procrastination, relaxation, screen, sit, stare, staycation, thinking, TV, wait, while, work
I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

0

1 month ago

communication, even, expert, Funny, funny story, having, humor, joke, language, mistake, story, storytelling, tell, wording
Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

0

1 month ago

flirtation, food, humor, i, invitation, joke, midnight, midnight snack, night, over, snack

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Slack this month:

Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

26 shares on Slack this month:

If I was a fish, I’d be smoking all the seaweed.

83 shares on Slack this month:

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

90 shares on X this month:

My wife just pulled me into the other room, and I thought she wanted to have a serious talk, but she just wanted to give me M&M’s without the kids seeing.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hope whoever came up with the spelling for Wednesday was punished for their actions.

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

I can’t believe she picked her husband, her boyfriend and her other boyfriend over me.

35 shares on Twitch this month:

“We should get tickets” is as close to a rock concert as I get these days.

100 shares on Slack this month:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

Being a dinosaur sounds kinda nice. No bills, no work, just extinct.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I miss when my biggest problem was whether my Happy Meal toy matched the one from the commercial.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Wow, another wooden ball. Would it kill avocado makers to put a different toy in there?

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

My wife has a weird habit of starting conversations by saying, “Are you even listening to me?”

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

I don’t always leave the house, but when I do, I shouldn’t.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

If anyone wants a more cost effective energy provider, I can supply endless energy on tap from my absolutely not tired child at bedtime.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.

Spotted on Slack:

If you’re thinking what I’m thinking, you need professional help.

Live now on Instagram:

They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I’m on this new diet where I don’t consume anything that talks to me before the first coffee.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

Making waves on YouTube:

Death doesn’t scare me, but a group of dogs fighting while I’m walking alone on the street does.

Just shared via TikTok:

Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

Shared recently on X:

It is a mistake to say that the people who live a hundred years from now will have nothing to laugh at. They can laugh at us.

Going viral on TikTok:

Breaking a heart is considered bad, but melting a heart is somehow good.

Shared recently on Threads:

Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Men are very good at being women lately.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.

I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

I think social media is marvellous. You type your thoughts into it, and then insane people let you know if they like them or not.

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨