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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

I’d make room in my pillow fort for you.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

You want to know how old you really feel? Stop drinking caffeine and popping Ibuprofen. Then, just wait.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Guilty pleasure? Why would I ever feel guilty about pleasure.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Driving behind a salt truck on a snowy day is a Midwest police escort.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Have a good weekend, unless you have other plans.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I’m so vulnerable to nostalgia. The sun will go down and I’ll be like: “Wow… remember when the sun was up… I miss who I was then”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

334 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,603

Funny Quotes Topics

17,660

Funny Quotes Images

15,603

Updated

Jan 12, 2026

Users Online

3,324

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

I be butt naked, texting people, and they’ll never know.

Spotted on Telegram:

Spoiler alert: Monday doesn’t care about your feelings.

Making waves on TikTok:

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Somewhere there’s a girl ignoring 15 guys for a guy who gives her no attention.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

Seen just now on Discord:

Shorts should be half the price of pants.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’m tired of being an adult. Therefore, I will be stepping down. Thank you!

Live now on Twitch:

You ask for a Swedish massage and then get mad when I roll meatballs on your back.

Seen just now on X:

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

Men are very good at being women lately.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When makeup tutorials start looking like magic tricks, you know men have leveled up! 💄✨🤣"

being, gender, good, humor, men, stereotype, woman, women

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My pronouns are she/her and my adjectives are problematic/overwhelmed.

2 months ago

adjectif, gender, humor, identity, overwhelmed, problematic, pronouns, self-description
I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.

2 months ago

boredom, checking, humor, i, keep, loneliness, me, mean, media, phone, self-deprecating, silly, social, social media, somebody, something, technology
Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

2 months ago

14th, couple, day, expensive, getting, home, hotel, hotel room, humor, people, position, positions, relationship, room, rooms, same, sex, sex position, shout, travel, valentine’s, Valentine’s Day
Are you mad at me? Have you been mad at me? Will you be mad at me? When will you be mad at me?

1 month ago

anger, confusion, dialogue, emotion, frustration, mad, me, question, relationship
Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

2 months ago

excuse, forgetfulness, humor, i, late, lateness, shower, sorry, standing, stuff, thinking
I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

2 months ago

comedy, Earth, existential, humor, i, me, need, planets, psychic, sad, tell

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on X this month:

I would do absolutely anything for my friends, except answer their text messages.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

92 shares on Instagram this month:

Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.

36 shares on Threads this month:

Taking a walk: The most effective debugging tool.

39 shares on Instagram this month:

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

We keep a potato masher in a drawer because sometimes it’s fun not to be able to open that drawer.

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

I wanted to study psychology, but I have more potential as a patient, to be honest.

55 shares on Threads this month:

My boss denied me a raise before my shift today. What’s some music you have never wanted to hear in a coffee shop?

74 shares on X this month:

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

74 shares on WeChat this month:

I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

“Kiss From a Rose” makes you think Batman Forever is the most romantic movie ever made.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Did anyone ask the daylight if it wanted to be saved?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

Spongebob never let anyone dull his whimsical spirit.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Do the people who make chairs know what humans look like, or nah?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Why do women complain about size but moan when fingered?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Discord:

Annoyed because I want to live my life without a job.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I wonder if people that fall asleep right away know that we hate them.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

Just shared via WeChat:

Today I learned that up to half of the worker ants in a colony are only pretending to work, just looking busy so they don’t get tasked with anything. I respect ants so much more.

Seen just now on WeChat:

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I had a healthy appendix removed, just to show the other organs that I will not tolerate any bullshit.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I started calling the new guy at work “Grok” because he thinks he knows everything.

Shared recently on Slack:

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

Just landed via Instagram:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Men are very good at being women lately.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My pronouns are she/her and my adjectives are problematic/overwhelmed.

I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.

Shout out to the people getting $400 hotel rooms on Feb 14th to do the same two positions they do at home.

Are you mad at me? Have you been mad at me? Will you be mad at me? When will you be mad at me?

Sorry I’m late — I was standing in the shower, thinking about stuff.

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨