Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I’m gonna get my vasectomy done at Home Depot like a real man.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would have happened if you had just listened to her.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Would have started saving money in kindergarten if I knew my life was like this.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.