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Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New funny quotes: 6 this month

15,831 funny quotes and pics

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Updated: Jun 2, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

66 Funny metaphor quotes

Funny metaphor quotes are like the sprinkle of humor on the cupcake of life πŸŽ‚πŸ˜‚. They add a zing of wit that transforms ordinary moments into extraordinary chuckles 🌟. Whether you’re as busy as a bee 🐝 or feeling like a fish out of water 🐟, these quirky comparisons offer a fresh perspective, tickling your funny bone along the way. Dive into the playful world of silly similes and let the laughter ripple through your day! πŸŽ‰πŸ˜„

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

β€œNothing burger” is such a funny phrase. Americans when nothing: so imagine a burger.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

A song that hits so hard it makes you want a cigarette.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

A storm knows it’s laced with destruction, and yet it rages on.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Perhaps moths don’t seek the light, but are simply fleeing the darkness.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Milk or be milked.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Some people still fail to understand that the boot still has no problem crushing you, even if you lick it clean.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Sometimes, when you go with the flow you end up drowning with everyone else.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Love low-hanging fruit. Easiest kind to obtain, in my opinion.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Life is like a penis. Sometimes it’s up, sometimes it’s down. But it’s never hard forever.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Showing your emotions to the wrong people is like bleeding next to a shark.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

β€œIt’s not that deep!” Well, I have a shovel and I enjoy digging for meaning.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Behold the majestic elephant in its natural habitat, the room.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Floppy disks are like Jesus. They died to become the icon of saving.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

My ducks are not even remotely in a row. My ducks are in places no duck has ever gone before.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

The lion does not concern himself with social proof.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

We’ve been talking about eating the rich for so long, they got over-ripe.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

When you are a leg-bouncer and someone asks you to stop, it’s like they’re asking you to stop your own heart.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

The lion does not concern himself with the check engine light.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Everyone wants the bagel to be everything, but no one asks if the bagel needs anything.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

A burrito is just a sleeping bag for beans.

Posted onMay 28, 2026

Reverse cowgirl, so we can both address the elephant in the room.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

A perfect metaphor for my life would be “Someone trying to stand up in a hammock.”

Posted onMay 27, 2026

The cold water does not get warmer if you jump late.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Here I am, block me like a hurricane.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Who called it a biological clock and not an egg timer?

Posted onMay 27, 2026

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

A wise man once said, β€œBees don’t waste their time explaining to flies that honey is better than shit.”

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

Posted onMay 27, 2026

His voice was like whiskey. Smooth with a slow burn that lit me up from the inside.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

I love how bananas just take over the whole smoothie. You can never dim her light.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

Posted onMay 26, 2026

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