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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here hating myself.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Jeez. It’s like the people in this nursing home have never heard techno before.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Yesterday I really wanted tacos and now I’m eating tacos. Follow your dreams!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

5 hours ago

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Stretching my back isn’t enough; I need to take out my spine and wring it out like a towel.

Just landed via Telegram:

Netflix and chi…cken nuggets.

Just landed via YouTube:

When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

Just shared via Pinterest:

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

Live now on Telegram:

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

Breaking via Telegram:

I hate the saying: “Get up, the sun is shining!” What am I supposed to do? Photosynthesis?

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I know how to use an abacus as a tambourine.

Trending via Messenger:

I’m a multi-tasking procrastinator. I can put off multiple things at once.

Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

4 months ago

Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Potatoes really know how to show off their versatility, don't they? 🥔 From crispy fries to crunchy chips to smooth vodka, they're like the overachievers of the vegetable world! 😄 Perhaps other veggies should take notes and step up their game if they want to compete with the beloved potato! 🥦🌽 #PotatoPower"

alcohol, chips, french fries, vegetable, vodka

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

5 hours ago

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t hate anyone in particular, I just hate everyone in general.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

I feel like I’m in jail when I’m around unfunny people for too long.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Only after moving in together do you realize your girlfriend’s little quirks. Mine, for example, stores vegetables in the beer compartment.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

If I shook my head at every stupid thing I saw, I’d have permanent whiplash.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Another beautiful day without using sin, tan and cos.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Adulting is realizing Monday is a better “off day” than Friday.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Getting left on read really gives me perspective on what Nigerian princes go through.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

Freshly posted on X:

Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

Just shared via WeChat:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m naturally funny because my life is a joke.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I hate apps that shut off your music when you open them, like how fu*king important do you think you are?

Just landed via Discord:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution, it’s the year’s turn to be better.

Going viral on Facebook:

Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.

Shared recently on X:

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

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