Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • It’s never too early to start making bad decisions.
  • I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!
  • My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.
  • I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.
  • I switched from coffee to orange juice and told my doctor I felt better. He said it’s the vitamin C and natural sugars, but I think it’s the vodka.
  • I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.