Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.
  • Don’t think of it as losing followers, think of it as frustrating bots to the point they go away.
  • I’m going to start walking around in my yard all day in a bathrobe so my neighbors will build that privacy fence I always wanted.
  • Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.
  • Just did my own taxes, I should be in jail by Friday.
  • A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”