Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

  • I come from a family of failed magicians. I have two half sisters.
  • “Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.
  • When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word β€œherein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.
  • Later is the best time to do anything.
  • You should be able to call out of work if your partner is so cozy and warm in the morning.
  • When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.