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Commentary:
"Must be playing hide and seek with my wallet! It enjoys keeping that $10,000 well hidden 🕵️‍♂️💸 Maybe it's on an adventure, exploring the realm of 'empty pockets'! 🚀😂 Don't worry, I'm sure it'll pop up when you least expect it! 😉"

$10, 000, disappointment, expectation, frustration, humor, looking, money, tired, wallet

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

1 month ago
ask, blood, deadline, form, humor, me, poetic, poetic verse, relationship, request, romance, Valentine, verse, week
If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

1 month ago
beautiful, beautiful scenery, family, humor, observation, people, phones, pointing, road, road trip, scenery, travel, trip, vacation
“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

4 months ago
advice, authenticity, humor, just, me, mixed, mixed result, past, result, results, self
You’re mistaking me with someone who’s stupid.

1 month ago
humor, me, mistake, misunderstanding, self-awareness, someone, stupid, witty
The second date is you watching me parallel park and trying not to have a stroke.

2 months ago
date, dating, driving, funny situation, humor, me, parallel, parallel park, park, relationship, second, second date, situation, stress, stroke, trying, watching
Can’t, holding a grudge.

1 month ago
can’t, conflict, feelings, grudge, holding, humor, relationships

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Can I just skip to the part in my life where I’m rich and happily in love?

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According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to

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I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

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Flirting is easy until you have to flirt with the person you like.

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Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

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We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

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Thinking of telling my extra weight that I love it so that it can leave me too.

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The final level of being smart is just pretending you don’t know anything to make your life easier.

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I’m already sick of tomorrow.

Just landed via X:

Sorry I was late, I was waiting for my CVS receipt to finish printing.

Live now on Discord:

Stop making Fast and Furious movies.

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I can sing all the words to the intro song of DuckTales, what’s your flex?

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Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

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So tired of looking in my wallet and not finding $10,000

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

You’re mistaking me with someone who’s stupid.

The second date is you watching me parallel park and trying not to have a stroke.

Can’t, holding a grudge.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Everyone’s a gangster until it’s time to pronounce Worcestershire Sauce.

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

In the coffee shop, booing everyone who orders decaf.

I would prefer not to.

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

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I wonder if the scariest moment ever in history has happened yet.

Is this simulation from Temu?

That looks like a problem for someone else.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

Bro, did you really just mix up e.g. and i.e. in front of the hoes?

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

So. Fed the laundry and washed the cat. Showered the garbage and disposed of myself. Was there anything else?

Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

No plans and no pants kind of day.

You can’t hurt my feelings, I used to bring my dad the wrong tools.

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So tired of looking in my wallet and not finding $10,000

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

“Just be yourself”—that has gotten me mixed results in the past.

You’re mistaking me with someone who’s stupid.

The second date is you watching me parallel park and trying not to have a stroke.

Can’t, holding a grudge.

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