Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Everybody say a little prayer for my husband, he just told me to calm down.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Welcome to Netflix. We have every movie but the one you actually want to watch.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

We’re all mature, until someone pulls out some bubble wrap.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

“Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” Cool, I dislike both of those things.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Standing on a scale and thinking: so much wisdom and inner beauty can’t be light.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,251

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

Trending via Snapchat:

I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

Trending via WeChat:

Trying to explain to my cat why she can’t jump off the balcony, even though I want to as well.

Just landed via Twitch:

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

Going viral on Facebook:

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

When I don’t have money, I stop talking to women out of respect.

Going viral on X:

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I never judge a book by its cover. People, though, I can tell are evil by their stupid faces.

So tired of looking in my wallet and not finding $10,000

2 months ago

0

So tired of looking in my wallet and not finding $10,000

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Must be playing hide and seek with my wallet! It enjoys keeping that $10,000 well hidden 🕵️‍♂️💸 Maybe it's on an adventure, exploring the realm of 'empty pockets'! 🚀😂 Don't worry, I'm sure it'll pop up when you least expect it! 😉"

$10, 000, disappointment, expectation, frustration, humor, looking, money, tired, wallet

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Putting a baby on board sticker on my car because other drivers have a right to know who they’re dealing with behind the wheel.

0

6 months ago

baby, baby on board, behind, board, car, car sticker, child, dealing, driver, drivers, humor, know, parenting, putting, right, road, road safety, safety, sticker, traffic, vehicle, wheel
You realize you’re getting old when your body parts start fighting over which one hurts first.

0

2 months ago

aging, body, fight, fighting, getting, humor, old, over, pain, parts, realize, start
I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

0

2 months ago

better, exercise, fitness, humor, i, journey, mean, motivation, reach, treadmill, walk
You’d be surprised how many times you can use the word succulent in a work email.

0

2 months ago

email, fun, humor, office, office fun, succulent, surprise, times, usage, word, word usage, work, work email
Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

0

2 months ago

back, disappointment, everything, expectations, expensive, humor, i, illegal, likes, me, relationships, text, texting
Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

0

2 months ago

40s, 60-year-old, age, birthday, feeling, humor, mindset, problem, self-deprecation, still, too

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on Messenger this month:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

50 shares on X this month:

If I was polyamorous, I think Id date my girlfriend three times.

18 shares on X this month:

College core: you sit in the class for attendance, then go home and teach yourself.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

What are some beginner bad habits for someone just getting into ruining their life?

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I love how all the Black Friday deals this year are just the price of the item before the tariffs.

49 shares on Facebook this month:

Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Welcome to Netflix. We have everything but what you want to watch.

21 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t mind being fully naked or my top half being naked, but I hate being naked from the waist down only. This is why I could never be a cartoon duck.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Every morning I regret why I didn’t sleep earlier the night before.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s not getting better or worse, but rather a third mysterious thing.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves while he does.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You were there at the beginning of the Internet if you’ve heard the following: “Get off the web, I need to make a call!”

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope “be the light you want to see in the world” doesn’t refer to Molotov Cocktails.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Waiting in the grocery store parking lot for the rotisserie chickens to be ready. The thrill of the hunt.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,405

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

ADHD is: being pretty good at basically anything you want to be, and absolutely terrible at anything you need to do to live.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Why are those Mad Max guys always driving around, it’s not like there’s anywhere to go?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Gonna eat birthday cake all day because it’s someone’s birthday out there, and we’re about to celebrate together, stranger.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

I might be annoying, but at least my lock screen isn’t a selfie.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

Breaking via Telegram:

Hobbies include being misunderstood.

Just shared via Threads:

You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Nicole Kidman being in a film called Babygirl is actually perfect cause it’s like another version of her last name.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

Just landed via YouTube:

It sucks that the reward for being responsible, is just a bunch of new responsibilities.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

Going bananas on Instagram:

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.

Trending via Pinterest:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴