My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

Only money has the right to say “you’ll regret losing me”. The rest of you calm down.

I’m like if a birthday card with no money inside was a person.

Wake me up when I’m rich!

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

They say money doesn’t solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

Staying in bed all day is my way of saving money.

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

I thought I wanted a career. Turns out all I wanted is paychecks.

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse, except for money.

I hate math, but I love counting money.

Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

I need money, not feelings.

I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

I’m not scared of love, I’m scared of insufficient cash.

We decided to have money instead of children.