Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Tried a smile yesterday and my white blood cells attacked it.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Not to brag, but my date returned after using the restroom.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

I don’t simply want to kill a mosquito; I want to bite them back over and over to make them itch.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

It’s time for basic human empathy to make a comeback.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

If your name is “Guy”, you have lazy parents.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I’m a fully functional adult with the energy levels of a hibernating bear.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Needlenose in HR says we can’t use nicknames anymore.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

My psych professor asked if we’d heard of Pavlov. I said, “It rings a bell.” No one laughed; I’m too witty for this class.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,387

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Even wild things have slow mornings.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

You can fake an American accent all you want, but “literally” will expose you.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I have to stand in the shower about this.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I actually think my version of the lyrics makes more sense.

Going viral on TikTok:

I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.

Live now on Threads:

People aren’t too bad if you stay away from them and don’t go outside.

Making waves on TikTok:

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Caught a belt loop on a door handle and got yanked back with such force that my audio is no longer in sync with my actions.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

This entire month could’ve been an email.

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

Witty text about punctuality with a playful, humorous vibe.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oops, I guess punctuality wasn't on my priority list today! ⏰😅 Better late than never, right? Let's pretend I arrived fashionably late! 💁‍♂️ #SorryNotSorry"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Twitch this month:

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

15 shares on Snapchat this month:

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

50 shares on Threads this month:

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, Eat cake.

29 shares on Reddit this month:

Don’t let anyone treat you like a red flag, you’re the whole damn red carpet, baby.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

I just heard someone refer to Texas as “Howdy Arabia” and I still haven’t stopped laughing.

38 shares on X this month:

Don’t wait until you’re on your death bed to let them know how you feel. You may be too weak to raise your middle finger.

76 shares on TikTok this month:

I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later, my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.

88 shares on X this month:

Men look so amazing for people who use the same product for their teeth, hair, floor and car washing.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If anything goes wrong today, just dramatically whisper, “The prophecy has been fulfilled,” and walk away.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I know I’m mad when I start talking to myself about it.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,488

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Seeing an animal sigh is so funny to me. Like, what happened, buddy?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not so sure anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Last night’s dream could have been an email.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

Live now on Telegram:

Dude so boring, it’s like his personality swiped left on him.

Just shared via Threads:

Grandparents were right. Sitting in a chair, doing nothing, and staring at nature is incredible.

Just shared via Instagram:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

Live now on Instagram:

We used to pass notes in class like spies. Folded like origami. Deep like Shakespeare.

Going viral on Reddit:

People will name their dog Steve and have two kids named Buddy and Rocket.

Making waves on Messenger:

Why be just a part of the solution when you can be the whole problem?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

They don’t put cars in malls anymore, like they used to.

Making waves on YouTube:

“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

Making waves on Facebook:

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

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