Commentary:
"When autopilot goes rogue 😂🚗🤖"
120 Funny excuse quotes
I be outside telling people I don’t got social media when they ask.
Commentary:
Who needs social media when you can just post your thoughts directly into the universe? 📡🤔🌌
“I’ll see” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it.
Commentary:
Oh yeah, "I'll see" is the ultimate RSVP for the socially averse 😂🚫🙅♂️
“You never reply to messages.” I am just one person, okay? I am understaffed.
Commentary:
Looks like my brain needs to hire some extra staff! 📱🤯😂
Not right now. I’m manifesting.
Commentary:
Channeling my inner wizard, please hold! 🧙♂️✨
When I’m not posting or returning messages, just know that I’m probably out doing superhero shit.
Commentary:
Saving the world one unread message at a time! 🦸♂️📵✨
Can someone write me a note to get out of being a responsible adult?
Commentary:
When you find out the adulting class was just a cruel prank 😉📝 #SkipAdulting #PermanentRecess
My wife had a dream that I have a secret second wife named Linda. Now, when she’s mad at me, I just say, “Linda wouldn’t get mad about that.”
Commentary:
Looks like Linda is my new imaginary marriage counselor! 😂💍🤷♂️
I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.
Commentary:
Well, I guess we're getting dirty one way or another! 🌱😂🪴
Sorry, I can’t today. I have to sit in my room and make matters worse.
Commentary:
Procrastination level: expert 🤣🛌📈