Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Everyone is getting pregnant or married, and I’m back to “What’s your favorite color?“

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

“Don’t take this the wrong way!” Translation: Prepare for insult.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

My wife just pulled me into the other room, and I thought she wanted to have a serious talk, but she just wanted to give me M&M’s without the kids seeing.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

I have neither the patience nor the crayons to show you why this is a bad idea.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Nobody can ragebait as successfully as your own mother can.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Jan 11, 2026

3,683

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on TikTok:

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

Live now on Reddit:

I was sad, but then I ordered some new clothes. I’m okay now.

Seen just now on Discord:

I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

Just shared via X:

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Do cats have a sense of causation between grooming themselves and coughing up hairballs, or do they think it’s just an annoying separate thing which just happens to them sometimes?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The police sent me a photo radar ticket so I sent them a photo of a hundred dollars, so I guess we’re even.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

“My reading glasses would look good on your nightstand.” -Me, flirting.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I am officially at the age where old people think I am young and young people think I am old.

Just shared via Slack:

Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

That fight could’ve been an email.

2 months ago

That fight could’ve been an email.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
💌💥 "That fight could’ve been an email… the drama, the tension, the suspense… all for what could have been summed up in a couple of paragraphs and a few passive-aggressive emojis 😂 Next time, save the energy for the inbox, folks!" 📧✉️

communication, email, fight, humor, misunderstanding, work

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

2 months ago

brain, humor, lyrics, memory, music, song, thought
The empty side of your bed is for books and chocolate, not for liars who snore.

2 months ago

bed, book, books, chocolate, comfort, empty, humor, liar, night, relationship, side, sleep, snore
Once this pandemic ends, I’m legit quitting video games and getting a girlfriend for real.

4 weeks ago

game, games, getting, girlfriend, humor, life, once, pandemic, quitting, real, relationship, social, social life, video, video game
Lord of the Rings is a story about a brave little Hobbit on a mission to destroy a ring and save the world, and his annoying friend Frodo.

2 months ago

adventure, annoying, brave, bravery, destroy, fantasy, friend, Frodo, Hobbit, humor, little, lord, mission, ring, rings, save, save world, story, world
If you relate to me, get some help!

2 months ago

advice, help, humor, me, relate
Set my sex robot to boyfriend mode and now it’s liking other girls’ pictures on Insta.

2 months ago

boyfriend, boyfriend mode, girls, humor, insta, Instagram, jealousy, liking, liking pictures, media, mode, pictures, relationship, robot, set, sex, sex robot, social, social media, technology

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Telegram this month:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a hot tub.

74 shares on WeChat this month:

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

76 shares on Pinterest this month:

Unless you fell off the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.

18 shares on Slack this month:

My favorite childhood memory is having energy.

38 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m just here to make you wish I wasn’t.

89 shares on Twitch this month:

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

98 shares on Instagram this month:

In the American Bible, Eve was made from part of a McRib.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

Breakfast in bed: where your cozy blanket turns into a crumby crime scene.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Shooting a gun in the air to get everyone’s attention, then immediately getting shy and sheepishly twisting my shoe in the dirt and blinking bashfully.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I think there’s a size limit on engagement rings before they look tacky, to me.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Girl math is ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

For this Halloween I’ve trained my eyebrows to leap off my face and destroy those who’ve angered me.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need your flipping advice, I am capable of ruining my life on my own.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You know who’s gonna love you in the end? Your dog.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You should be allowed to speed if good music is playing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

300 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,569

Funny Quotes Topics

17,627

Funny Quotes Images

15,569

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,600

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Livin’ la vida vodka!

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Me, unwrapping a gift: Oh wow, an item. I love these!

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

I feel like a wildlife photographer when I spend hours trying to capture my teenager’s smile.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Winter hack: Avoid the cold by never leaving your house.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Hey, I noticed you’re completely uninterested in me and couldn’t care whether I live or die. Would you like to build a life together?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Fun fact: Did you know that removing junk food from your diet can help you lose up to 90% of your will to live?

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I’m a red flag, but the material is quality.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

You’re so productive for your wage.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

Breaking via Pinterest:

It’s pretty apt that the ‘i’ is in the middle of ‘hurricane’.

Live now on Snapchat:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

You will be having the worst morning of your life and then someone will start mowing their lawn.

Just shared via Messenger:

I don’t mind driving in bad weather. I mind other people driving in bad weather.

Live now on Instagram:

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Giving out false information so I know who the leak is.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

When my friends and I talk about sex, it’s never sexual. It feels scientific, almost.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴