That fight could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

I need new friends. The old ones know too much.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Ping me if your boobs glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Even though he murders a lot of people, you can tell Freddie Kruger is a fun loving guy cause he goes by Freddie and not Fred or Frederick.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired lottery winner.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Meatloaf is a good safe word. It means I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that…

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I wonder if Mary and Joseph hated putting away the Christmas stuff as much as I do.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.