Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I love how “sleeping in” used to mean noon, and now it means 8:30 a.m.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

I probably never die because I don’t finish anything without a specific deadline.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Dear music, thanks!

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

I just agree with people so that they stop talking.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Jan 11, 2026

3,359

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Odd—my boss told me to meet him at the abandoned quarry at midnight for my performance evaluation.

Just landed via Slack:

People aren’t so bad if you stay indoors and don’t talk to them.

Making waves on YouTube:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

Just landed via Threads:

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Prime Video will find the movie you were looking for and then say, “Oops, you gotta pay for it.”

Trending via Discord:

I’m sick of living through history!

Just shared via Twitch:

I figured out how they built the pyramids. No internet.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Never underestimate the healing power of a grilled cheese sandwich.

Just shared via Twitch:

Being a toddler’s favorite person is what real love actually looks like.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Your twenties are for working towards a life you later won’t want.

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

2 months ago

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, well, looks like bland is the new bold in the world of 30-something men 🕶️😄 Who knew that monotony could be so scorching hot? 🔥Guess the key to sizzling charisma lies in being as exciting as watching paint dry 😂💼 #DullIsTheNewSexy

30s, age, boring, hottest, hottest thing, humor, man, thing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you’re right. Have fun.

4 months ago

acceptance, age, argument, arguments, even, fun, humor, i, life, math, patience, right, say, stage, stay, where
The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

2 months ago

apple, bible, eating, escalate, humor, irony, murder, religion, second, sin, storytelling
I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

5 months ago

age, around, build, i, memory, riding, say, surprise, town
In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

2 months ago

advice, cheese, disaster, dog, dogs, emergency, event, food, humor, humor quote, humorous, humorous advice, joke, natural, natural disaster, place, pockets, rescue, search, search dog, snacks, survival, tornado, wiener
“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I’ve sacrificed a sheep.

2 months ago

absurdity, asked, ChatGPT, conversation, grok, humor, i, joke, sacrifice, sheep, well, wit
The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

2 months ago

activity, attempt, cartwheel, crazy, day, exercise, fitness, got, humor, i, idea, nostalgia, physical, physical activity, self-deprecating, still

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Instagram this month:

I wish more modern politics were about trying to stop the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy.

94 shares on Messenger this month:

Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

There aren’t enough rap songs about cutting coupons.

28 shares on Telegram this month:

James Bond really accurately predicted that the biggest threat to life on Earth is super-rich businessmen, whose money didn’t make them happy, and now their hobby is destroying the world.

31 shares on WeChat this month:

An eye exam where the optometrist makes you read a menu under dim lights.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

32 shares on TikTok this month:

This is the wrong generation for people with an old soul.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

Maybe hot chocolate wants to be called beautiful chocolate at least one time.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Why did they call it an AI-generated picture and not a ‘fauxtograph’?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Something very chic about crying while driving… have to keep it a little classy so you don’t crash… other drivers unaware a diva is down in the next lane over…

17 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m not ordering fries, I’ll just eat some of yours!” -Former friends of mine

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Being smart is a curse. You see the game, the lies, the patterns, but you still gotta play dumb to survive.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m addicted to placebos.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

7 folks are currently checking 👀

You amuse me, Jester. You may enter my bed chambers.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Used to wonder why my parents couldn’t grasp technology, but now, anytime I see something new, I’m like, “I’m not learning that.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,273

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

The spelling of “bourgeoisie” was intended as yet another means of oppression.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

Don’t talk to me unless you are a ham sandwich.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

America was more fun when organized crime was done by Italians in Chicago.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

How many filters does it take before it’s technically a painting?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Legos are too expensive nowadays. They should go back to costing as much as they did when my parents paid for them.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Oh no, we don’t go in there. That room belongs to the spiders.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

I admire how, when babies don’t want to hold something anymore, they just drop it.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

Going viral on Discord:

Twitter is an abusement park.

Making waves on Instagram:

Before I start seeing a psychiatrist, does anyone like me crazy?

Making waves on Discord:

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

Just shared via Facebook:

People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

Going bananas on TikTok:

I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn’t own a business, and my PE teacher was fat.

Breaking via Telegram:

I can’t flirt, but I’ll awkwardly giggle at everything you say.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Seen just now on Facebook:

I remember sex. That was cool.

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