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New funny quotes: 6 this month

15,831 funny quotes and pics

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Updated: Jun 2, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

397 Funny age quotes

Funny age quotes are here to prove that getting older doesn’t have to be serious — it can be hilarious! 😆🎂 Whether it’s embracing the “over the hill” moments or laughing about the little things that change with age, these quotes remind us that age is just a number… and sometimes, it’s a really funny one! 😂⏳🎉

Aren’t you a little old to be a bully?

Posted onMay 30, 2026

(To my coworker that’s a year younger than me) You’re like a son to me.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

A little time spent not acting your age is never a bad thing.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Stop asking people over 40 what we like to do for fun. You’re not gonna like the answer.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

You can be under 25, just don’t do it around me.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Wild that we could have been foraging for berries and dying off at 33, but we chose this nonsense instead.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Welcome to middle age. Everything you encounter is either blurry or too loud now.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Please be nice to me. I’m in my twenties. Do you know what that does to a person?

Posted onMay 30, 2026

I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

Posted onMay 30, 2026

The retirement age needs to be lowered to 40, I’ve had enough.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

At my age, I see no good reason to act my age.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

You’re over 35. Better go pee before you leave, pee when you get there, pee while you’re there, and pee before you leave.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

Posted onMay 30, 2026

I’m 27 and a half. I should be on my first divorce by now.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

I’m so old that when I take a walk down memory lane, I get lost.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

People my age are doing so much, and I’m just at home reliving the same day over and over again.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Like a fine bourbon, we get better with age. Or, at least, … we feel better about our age after drinking lots of bourbon!

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you refuse to let go of.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

I’m at the age where an uncomfortable bed will have me injured for a couple of days.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Getting older just means that you have to start eating all the sad foods.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

You’re 25, stressing like you’re 40, because you want to be rich before 30, am I right?

Posted onMay 30, 2026

It doesn’t matter how old you are, when it starts thundering and lightning, you go and sit at the window to watch.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Why do men have birthdays? It’s not like they’re growing up.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Bad news. Right now is as young as you’re going to be.

Posted onMay 30, 2026

One day you’re young and fun, and the next you’re saying, “I wonder how old this tree is.”

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Hey, people, my age. Remember going into the computer lab at school?

Posted onMay 30, 2026

Stop acting your age. You’re ruining it for the rest of us.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

When you get to a certain age, your body becomes so disrespectful.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Millennials are so young because we were never allowed to grow up. Still living like broke college kids in our 40s.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Intelligence is now free, and the golden age of the nerd is over.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

If every lesbian is into older women, who’s gonna like the younger ones?

Posted onMay 29, 2026

From a very young age, I knew that everyone was wrong and I was right.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

And today, just like every day, I learned something new . . . but I’m old, so I forgot what it was already.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

Your soul is out of balance because you have fallen out of touch with your consumer demographic. Pay more attention to your personalized ads, let them flow through you.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

After nearly 40 years, I finally came to understand why some men slip away into a quiet, private life, far from the masses.

Posted onMay 29, 2026

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