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Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New funny quotes: 8678 this month

15,818 funny quotes and pics

17,813 funny quotes topics

Updated: May 24, 2026

 

 

 

 

338 Funny thing quotes

Funny thing quotes are all about those moments when *one thing* ends up being way more hilarious than expected! ๐Ÿ˜…๐ŸŽ‰ Whether itโ€™s the weird things people say, the random items you always lose, or just that one *thing* you never shouldโ€™ve done, these quotes prove that life is full of laughable “things.” Prepare for a good time โ€” no matter how small the thing is! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ”๐Ÿ’ญ

My favorite thing to do at the gym is stay home and eat a piece of cake.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Probably the worst thing about pyramid schemes is how they make you advertise to all your friends and family that you are part of a pyramid scheme.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Girls really only want one simple thing; and that one thing is all of your attention.

Posted onMay 24, 2026May 24, 2026

Human hibernation should be a thing.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Trust my gut? The thing that makes weird gurgling noises immediately when a work meeting goes quiet.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

They portray Pilates like itโ€™s this cute girly thing and itโ€™s actually training for combat.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Democracy is a fine thing. The bad thing is that the stupid people are allowed to take part.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

The only thing I worry about when Iโ€™m in the restroom is if people are washing their hands or not.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Guys only want one thing and it’s my grandmother’s meatball recipe.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

The cool thing about Twitter is you’re never the craziest one.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

Iโ€™m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

The most incredible thing about James Bond is the way he can walk into any hotel room and immediately know how to use the shower.

Posted onMay 24, 2026

A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

People on Facebook be like โ€œcan anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?โ€

Posted onMay 23, 2026

I love being wrong, it’s just like being right except easier and I get to be stupid, which is my favorite thing.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

People always tell me I’d be “late to my own funeral” like it’s a bad thing. They’d be lucky if I even showed up to that depressing shit.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

It sucks that brainwashing is a bad thing, because generally speaking the idea of washing my brain sounds so nice.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

The great thing about having pet insurance is that while our dachshund is at the vets, they’ve given us a courtesy poodle to hang out with.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

You canโ€™t hurt me. Youโ€™re not how I look first thing in the morning.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

The best thing about work is the coffee machine and the drive home.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

It’s a good thing that not everyone has a smartphone. We also need people who honk when the lights turn green.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Your skull is the only thing preventing your brain from floating away, unburdened as it is by any meaningful thought to anchor it.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

Ninety percent of my new follows are beautiful women, which tells me one thing: I’ve still got it!

Posted onMay 23, 2026

The only thing stopping cheesecake from being a breakfast food is you.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

โ€œThe only thing standing between you and your dreams is you!โ€ Yeah, have you met me? Thatโ€™s gonna be a problem.

Posted onMay 23, 2026

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