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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡ΉπŸ‡­ has bookmarked:

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡Ί has shared:

My step counter doesn’t judge. For him, steps to the fridge are just as valuable as a walk.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡¦ has viewed:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Someone from πŸ‡΅πŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡· has shared:

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

Someone from πŸ‡ΈπŸ‡° has shared:

Bought an eggplant, imma grow my own eggs.

Someone from πŸ‡¬πŸ‡Ή has copied:

Fun like a LinkedIn notification.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡Ώ has viewed:

I woke up again, it’s pathetic how much death fears me.

Someone from πŸ‡ΏπŸ‡Ό has bookmarked:

Every marriage has a personality hire, and then someone who knows how insurance works.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,731

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Trending via Slack:

In honor of the fall equinox, I will also be cold, distant and filled with darkness.

Spotted on Twitch:

When you’re feeling down, just turn up the music a little louder.

Just shared via Reddit:

In high school I was voted β€œmost likely to hold a grudge” and I’m still mad about it.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Do you ever hang out with someone else’s family, and you’re like, ooooh, so this is what it’s supposed to be like?

Making waves on Twitch:

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

Going viral on Threads:

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today, I need to be chased through the woods by a machete-wielding maniac.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

80 years from now, this comment section will be full of dead people. Write anything you want.

Making waves on Facebook:

You give my middle finger an erection.

The most refreshing way to fight your personal demons is to make demonade.

Playful quote about turning personal struggles into humor with a pun on "demonade."
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Commentary:
Turning those personal demons into a delicious, refreshing beverage? πŸ‹πŸ‘Ή Now that's what I call a creative solution! Just remember to add a dash of sugar and a pinch of optimism to make it extra potent! πŸ˜„πŸΉ

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Keep the laugh going πŸ˜‚

Trending Funny Quotes πŸ‘‡

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Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

The amount of family secrets you uncover as you get older is wild.

97 shares on X this month:

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

34 shares on Messenger this month:

β€œYou’re crazy.” God forbid I keep my family traits alive.

45 shares on Facebook this month:

Beginning my getting out of bed journey this morning.

80 shares on WeChat this month:

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

58 shares on Telegram this month:

Buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

Trending Topics πŸ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes πŸ’₯

11 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Have you ever just restarted the dryer because you didn’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

8 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

When people say something is cray-cray it makes me wanna vom-vom.

23 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Getting older is so fun. Your life goals slowly transition from things like ‘land a dream job’ to ‘successfully grow a cherry tomato.’

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Everyone thinks they’re brave right up until a goose starts chasing them.

17 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

21 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Zombies only eat brains, so you are safe.

15 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

Autumn is when men run around like it’s summer and women like it’s winter.

12 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

The medicine for headache goes to the stomach to do what, exactly?

9 folks are currently checking πŸ‘€

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

Funny Quotes Data πŸ€“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,490

Activity Log ✨

Someone from πŸ‡¦πŸ‡« has shared:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡³ has shared:

People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

Pizza rolls are comfort food because they look like little pillows.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡² has bookmarked:

The internet is fun because you can post about mayonnaise and somehow end up in a fight.

Someone from πŸ‡²πŸ‡· has downloaded:

Stereotypes are like mass graves. They’re both offensive ways to lump groups of people together.

Someone from πŸ‡³πŸ‡¦ has downloaded:

Telling the cop I’ll give him his nose back if he lowers his firearm.

Someone from πŸ‡«πŸ‡² has shared:

Sometimes you send an email that requires a response, and the other person writes back right away, and it’s like NO NOT YET.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ has shared:

My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

Someone from πŸ‡¨πŸ‡¦ has bookmarked:

The first step is admitting that the other person is the one with the problem.

Someone from πŸ‡­πŸ‡³ has copied:

Her: how are you still single? Me: it’s easier than you think.

Social Media Log πŸ’«

Spotted on YouTube:

β€œYour boos mean nothing to me. I’ve seen what you cheer.” Is a goated doctrine. If Rick and Morty gave us anything, it gave us that.

Spreading quickly via X:

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

Going viral on Slack:

I am not someone you have to host if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I’m ready to try another planet.

Just landed via Reddit:

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

Freshly posted on Telegram:

That depressing moment when you start your car to go to work and it doesn’t explode.

Just shared via Pinterest:

If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

Breaking via X:

Calling the police when someone unfollows.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

Just shared via Threads:

If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

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