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Breaking news: Adulting requires software updates! 🤓🔄
237 Funny personal quotes
Don’t let your empathy rob people of experiencing the consequences of their actions.
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When empathy's your superpower but you're trying not to be Captain Save-a-Consequence 😂🙅♂️🙈
Is it just me, or does wearing headphones make you hallucinate people shouting your name?
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When I wear headphones, I start hearing my Grammy accepting speech! 🎧👀🎤
I’m very self-aware, which hasn’t solved anything.
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Knowing I'm aware doesn't stop me from a double scoop of oops! 🍦😂
People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.
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Living life like a financial funambulist! 🤹♂️💸😅
Being alone is my favourite way of being.
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Love having solo parties; the guest list is always perfect! 🎉😄🛋️
Just took a nap in jeans. No one will ever understand the darkness that lurks inside me.
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Napping in jeans: the ultimate hardcore level of comfort! 😴👖🖤
Bisexual just means that I wear perfume with my men’s deodorant.
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Mixing up scents like a true fragrance DJ! 🎧💨💐#ScentSational
Cinderella had one night out, and it changed her life. I had one night out, and it changed my credit score.
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When I go out, the only thing that turns into a pumpkin is my bank account! 🎃💸
Even if you like anime, you gotta still wear deodorant, man.
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Smelling like Goku's training session isn't the secret to Super Saiyan 🏋️♂️😂✨