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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

My doctor told me “good luck” and gave me finger guns, so obviously I’m dying.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

My favorite type of gender reveal is the one where they just tell me and I don’t have to go to a party to find out.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Twitter is Iike the smoking area for social media.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

My husband threw away a perfectly good box as if we might not need it in 20 years.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

729 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,891

Funny Quotes Topics

13,867

Funny Quotes Images

10,891

46 minutes ago

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Being insane should at least burn calories.

Just shared via WeChat:

Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

Just shared via Messenger:

If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.

Going viral on Pinterest:

They should make a Wikipedia for normal people. I should be able to google my barista.

Trending via X:

This too shall pass, but what the hell?

Making waves on Facebook:

The night before a day off is more satisfying than the actual day off.

Just shared via TikTok:

Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

Live now on WhatsApp:

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Whenever you are feeling down, remember you’re the sperm that won.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

Home » Funny Personal Quotes

134 Funny personal quotes

Funny personal quotes capture the hilarious moments when we realize our quirks and idiosyncrasies make us who we are! 😂🙋‍♂️ Whether it’s laughing at our own weird habits, embarrassing moments, or overly dramatic reactions, these quotes remind us that being personal is also a great source of comedy. After all, we’re all a little bit ridiculous — and that’s what makes us funny! 😆🎭💁‍♀️

New funny personal quotes 👇

2 days ago
Share →: Touch my butt, not my coffee.

Commentary:
When it comes to priorities, my butt is negotiable, but coffee is a sacred no-touch zone! ☕🍑😂
3 days ago
Share →: How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

Commentary:
Taking applications for a professional "un-meet" service! 😂🙈 #LifeInWitnessProtectionMode
4 days ago
Share →: I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.

Commentary:
That moment when my nose wants to file its own paperwork 😅🚫👃
4 days ago
Share →: A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

Commentary:
Just when you thought personal space was safe… enter the Close Talker Swatter! 🦟🚫👃😄
5 days ago
Share →: A big part of my wife’s cardio routine is rolling away from me in bed.

Commentary:
Sounds like she's mastered the art of stealth fitness! 🛌🏃‍♀️😂
6 days ago
Share →: I like to be alone a lot; it’s nothing personal.

Commentary:
When you're introverted but still want to let people know you’re cool: "It's not you, it's me… and my love for sweatpants and Netflix! 😎🛋️📺"
6 days ago
Share →: I hate when I turn my car on in the morning and the music starts blasting, and I am like, “Whoooah, big fella, I’m not the same person I was last night.”

Commentary:
"Ha! Mornings are for whispered lullabies, not surprise concerts! 🎶😴🚗"
6 days ago
Share →: Just because the deodorant says 48 hrs, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Commentary:
"48 hours? Talk about living on the edge… or maybe the nose! 😅👃#LivingDangerously #SmellYouLater"
1 week ago
Share →: I am awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Commentary:
"I'm awake, send caffeine and good vibes… ☕😴 #PrivacyInPeril"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

Commentary:
"Trying to keep my flame alive while dodging strong gusts of reality! 😂🕯️💨"

For even more funny personal quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny personal quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

729 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,891

Funny Quotes Topics

13,867

Funny Quotes Images

10,891

46 minutes ago

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Imagine the sound a centipede would make if they wore tiny flip flops.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

How about hold me as tight as you’re holding onto that grudge?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

I don’t wanna brag, but my posts are unpopular on all continents.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

So many mistakes to make, so little time.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

Just landed via Reddit:

Wolves should really raise more people.

Trending via Facebook:

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

Trending via WeChat:

Every day I ask ChatGPT if it knows where my keys are and if it ever knows the answer, I’m suing everybody.

Going viral on Slack:

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

Just shared via Slack:

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

Going viral on WeChat:

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

Broadcasted on X:

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

User: the word computer professionals use when they mean ‘idiot.’

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