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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Y’all shivering in this cold cause them Shein jackets made outta paper towels.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

How did they call Deadpool’s dog ‘Dogpool’ when ‘Deadpoodle’ was right there?

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Stupid cow blocking the road. HOW DAIRY!

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

God doesn’t do nearly enough smiting anymore.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up, we had to manually roll up our car windows.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Turns out, college is all about forming unspoken, powerful bonds with people you talk to twice.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,740

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

Freshly posted on Slack:

(suicidal grindset guy) When I jump, it’s gonna be from the penthouse.

Spotted on WeChat:

If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.

Going viral on Discord:

Please take your Apple Watch off if you are wearing a dress or formal attire. You look like a spy kid.

Just shared via Reddit:

Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.

Making waves on YouTube:

Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Isn’t your email address beautifulgirl@mydreams.com?

Seen just now on Slack:

There should be guide dogs that prevent you from making bad decisions.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I woke up extra early today to get in as much ‘worrying about it being Monday tomorrow’ as possible.

Just landed via TikTok:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

Funny quote about online shopping frustration, highlighting the hassle of retrieving your wallet.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Online shopping: making us use our legs since 1994. Who knew that the most strenuous part of the process would be reaching for our wallet? It's a real workout for the modern age."

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

100 shares on Discord this month:

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Holding this fart in feels like I’m pregnant with a dinosaur.

26 shares on Discord this month:

The good news is that I’ve been finding new ways to waste my time.

67 shares on Slack this month:

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

94 shares on Threads this month:

Going viral on X is like winning a lotto during the apocalypse.

45 shares on Facebook this month:

Adding “Free HBO” to your dating profile isn’t the game changer you’d think it’d be.

88 shares on YouTube this month:

When the salesman from the hearing aid company calls, I stay on the line and answer every question with ‘What?’

14 shares on Twitch this month:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

84 shares on Facebook this month:

Unpopular opinion: The moon is actually way more useful than the sun. Because the moon gives us light at night when it’s dark. The sun only gives us light during the day when it’s already bright.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

How do they know an animal is extinct? Like, have you really looked everywhere?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I get so crabby when strangers waste my time which is unfair to them because I waste almost all of my own time to begin with.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Be the reason your therapist reevaluates their entire career.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

A dating app called Unhinged where you agree to meet up and fight each other.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing hurts more than someone not getting your joke.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent something in between coffee and narcotics.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Europeans read a lot because their television shows suck.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,274

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Never faked an orgasm before, but the joy of ugly presents.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Spring is what we call the time in between complaining about the cold and complaining about the heat.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Adulting is getting excited to go home and get into bed.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have some new ideas.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I’m not like the other girls. I’m a 37 year old man.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Messenger:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

Broadcasted on Threads:

“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

Just shared via Instagram:

You never hear anything about Mr. Rubik himself, only about his cube.

Spotted on Reddit:

A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I have re-entered the Band of Brothers rewatch stage of male depression.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Someone asked me how much I spend on a bottle of wine. 30 minutes was not the right answer.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Unpopular opinion: Landlords should not be able to increase rent unless they’re upgrading the apartment.

Making waves on Snapchat:

They get real weird at the gun store if you walk in crying and asking for “the biggest one”.

Seen just now on Messenger:

5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

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