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Looks like a classic case of the blame game in the house! 🏠 Somebody is always causing mischief while Nobody takes the fall for it. It's a whodunit comedy starring the dynamic duo of Somebody and Nobody – coming soon to a living room near you! 🔍😂

house, live, nobody, people, somebody

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

1 month ago
activity, boo, Earth, everyone, funny moment, group, group activity, humor, memory, moment, picture, planetarium, stop, thinking, time, us, where
Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

1 month ago
DIY, every, floor, humor, i, loose, maintenance, odd, screw, think, thoughts, time
The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

2 months ago
humor, intimacy, Jaws, movie, relationship, sex, soundtrack, theme
If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

1 month ago
close, comedy, door, haunted, house, humor, open
Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

1 month ago
ability, awareness, everyone, except, good, humor, missing, morning, people, read, room, sarcasm, skills, social, social skills
You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

1 month ago
allowed, date, early, early leave, fun, humor, leave, love, relationships, romance, should, work

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

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Just cleaned out my junk drawer if anyone needs a CD to reinstall Windows 95.

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And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

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Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up, we had to manually roll up our car windows.

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A marriage is about solving problems together, you know, those problems you wouldn’t have if you were single.

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If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

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Just told my cat I’d give her 500 bucks to stop meowing.

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Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Just remembered I can just get drunk after work instead of quitting. That was a close one.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Raising a teenager is like nailing pudding to the wall.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Girl, I’m bored. Let’s start drinking the daily recommended 10-15 cups of water.

Trending via TikTok:

I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

My wife almost fell down the stairs today and that got us into a heated argument whether my gasp was out of concern or excitement.

Just landed via TikTok:

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

Shared recently on Reddit:

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

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Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

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A designated hitter in baseball is the one who has to hit for everyone in case the team is drunk.

My dream DUI is driving a Saab through the Great British Bake Off tent.

Sorry I said your toddler should be in commercials for birth control.

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

“You’re not allowed to be grumpy on a Friday, it’s in the fine print somewhere.”

They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, the computer tells me it’s incorrect, and I’m like, ‘Wow, you didn’t have to be so rude about it.’

I am not living la vida loca. I am loca because of la vida.

Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your dark humor all day.

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Another Netflix price increase? Guess we’re only chilling now.

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

Nothing more humbling than being at a karaoke birthday party with a bunch of singers.

Waving at the end of every Zoom call like it’s the 1800s and a big steamship is leaving the harbor.

Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

Might lay here until someone draws my chalk outline.

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Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Can’t stop thinking about that time at the planetarium where they showed us a picture of earth and everyone booed.

Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

If one door opens when another door closes, your house is probably haunted.

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

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