Commentary:
When I look in the mirror and see my evil twin running the show 😂🤷♂️ #AlternateUniverse 🌌
36 Funny somebody quotes
A little friendly reminder that if somebody looks tired, you really don’t have to tell them.
Commentary:
Sometimes you just gotta let us live our zombie chic lifestyle in peace 😴🧟♂️✨
Somebody should tell James Cameron the world doesn’t need any more frigging Avatar movies.
Commentary:
James Cameron must have mistaken Pandora for his personal streaming service 📺🌍😂
What are some beginner pieces of information for somebody just getting into knowledge?
Commentary:
Starting with "Don't forget to plug in your brain" should do the trick 🤔🔌🧠😂
Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.
Commentary:
Oops! Someone's about to join the 9-finger club. 🎉✋🤚
Can’t stand when I’m determined to see something in a negative light, and somebody offers a different, healthier perspective. I already made up my mind to be upset. Don’t be rude.
Commentary:
Well, how dare they serve me a reality check when I already ordered a full course of drama! 🍽️😤📦
When they make a Hate Island, somebody link me.
Commentary:
🏝️😂 Sign me up for 'Hate Island': where the theme song is just the sound of closing browser tabs!
I got a lot of Jedi advice for somebody who could be turned to the dark side by moderate traffic.
Commentary:
Looks like I could use a GPS with the Force to navigate rush hour! 😂🚦✨
Nobody cleans better than somebody that’s pissed off.
Commentary:
When you're scrubbing the floor like it owes you money 😤🧹💨
Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”
Commentary:
"Pancakes are the only acceptable breakfast discourse! 🥞😂 But seriously, where's the waffle outrage committee when you need 'em? 🤷♂️ #BreakfastDebates"