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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Onion rings? I’m answering.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Interviewer: Can I get you anything? Me: Yeah, a job!

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Not again. I mean good morning.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Do people who love escape rooms not know about IKEA?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,324

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

Some of you need to be visited by the ghost of ‘Quit emailing me so much before Christmas.’

Making waves on Discord:

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

Trending via Slack:

That moment when you’ve gone through Insta, Facebook, X and the new emails and you know you should start working now. Luckily, there’s YouTube.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

Just shared via Discord:

Discord is only good for calling friends on the computer. Please do not waste your time getting caught up in random servers.

Trending via WeChat:

“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

Live now on Pinterest:

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

Going viral on Telegram:

My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

Breaking via TikTok:

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

Why are they called “grammar Nazis” and not “the Gestypo”?

0
Why are they called “grammar Nazis” and not “the Gestypo”?
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Isn't it ironic how they missed the opportunity for a more 'polite' terminology? 🤓🚫✏️ #PunnyGrammar"

What do you think of that playful twist on the term?

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

81 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Hey, we’re calling off the search party. We found a different guy out there we like more.

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why talk to bots when my plants listen just fine?

58 shares on Discord this month:

My mom asked me to hand out invitations for my brother’s surprise birthday party, and that’s when I realized he was the favorite twin.

99 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s ok to not have a Valentine on Valentine’s Day. I didn’t have a groundhog on Groundhog’s Day.

48 shares on Twitch this month:

Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

64 shares on Telegram this month:

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

59 shares on X this month:

Be bold, be italic, but never regular.

86 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

My Native American name would be Smokes Cigarettes.

90 shares on Threads this month:

The pigeons are plotting to overthrow the government. It will start with a coo.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re confusing me with someone who cares what you think of me.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If your coffee shop has a passive-aggressive ‘no Wi-Fi, pretend it’s the old days’ sign, I’m gonna smoke in there and pay 50 cents for coffee.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

People aren’t so bad if you stay indoors and don’t talk to them.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Just walked by an empath and his head exploded.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes nature makes art, like trees, waterfalls, and the human butt.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m getting close to that age where people applaud the things I’m “still able to do”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,267

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Anyone know how to grow a money tree?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

University is more like teaching yourself for a class you paid for.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

If you ever find yourself mad at me, put a cape on so you can be super mad.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

They should invent a food that sounds good for dinner tonight.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

The global energy crisis could be solved if only we could harness the power of my wife slamming my car door.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Not much is worse than that feeling of going back to work after a lunch, or a vacation, or just going to work in general.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

You don’t scare me. You’re not those two minutes when I can’t find my wallet.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

On the upside, my kids are helping with the dishes. On the downside, my kids are helping with the dishes.

Going viral on Threads:

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

Live now on Telegram:

You cannot go outside for a year or two. Come back, and the same people still be outside in the same places.

Spotted on TikTok:

Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst Käse scenario.

Live now on Threads:

We all know that mirrors don’t lie. I’m just very grateful that they don’t laugh.

Going viral on WeChat:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

Trending via WeChat:

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

Going bananas on X:

Easy there, unsaved number.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I shall have another coffee, for I am sleeping standing.

Going viral on Twitch:

You ever look at yourself on the self-checkout camera and think, “wow, I better write my will.”

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