Men will ruin your whole life then come back and like your story.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

For my next trick, I’ll need a divorce lawyer.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Hug your children as often as you can. They can’t break things during this time.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

There should be a socially acceptable way to say, “I’m not sure what to say to that. Can you please say something different?”.

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Today I broke my personal record for most consecutive days lived.

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It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

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Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

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Life on other planets be like: “I hope those lunatics don’t discover us!”

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I see no action figures, puzzles, or board games. I thought you said you wanted to play with me.