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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Trying to be cute today but my face isn’t cooperating.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m now at the age where happy hour is a nap.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Hey (with the intention of making your fries my fries).

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

One thing about me is I don’t even need to get drunk to act a fool.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Man, you really don’t appreciate not having something in your eye until you have something in your eye.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Where did you come from, Where did you go, Where did you come from, Pokémon Go.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,735

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport.

Going viral on X:

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

Trending via Pinterest:

The worst part of getting struck by lightning is everyone seeing your skeleton.

Trending via Slack:

Using my invisible hula hoop really freaks people out.

Just landed via Telegram:

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

Spotted on Instagram:

Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’m not deleting my Twitter, I was here before Elon.

Going viral on Discord:

I wonder how my close personal beloved friend Taylor Swift is doing today.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

You don’t scare me, you’re not my ID photo.

Playful quote about confidence and humor, comparing fear to unflattering ID photos.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"You don’t scare me, you’re not my ID photo. 💁‍♀️💥 Who knew a tiny piece of plastic could pack so much intimidation factor! 📸 #FearlessSelfie"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on YouTube this month:

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

Twitter is cool because you can figure out what’s going on in the world through memes instead of watching the news.

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Probably the worst thing about the death of print media is the devastating effect it’s having on the producers of traditional ransom notes.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

I love how all the Black Friday deals this year are just the price of the item before the tariffs.

36 shares on Slack this month:

May the algorithms be with you.

67 shares on Telegram this month:

Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

Nighttime is when I remember that one weird thing I said in 6th grade, and feel bad about it forever.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

58 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Automatic doors that don’t open fast enough make me look dumb.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you want to sit on the porch with me until we die or not?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You live in a great city when you get pooped on by a seagull instead of a pigeon.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t really like the song “I’ve Got a Feeling” by Black Eyed Peas, but I just like the part where they say “Mazel Tov.”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a low-quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Wow, another wooden ball. Would it kill avocado makers to put a different toy in there?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you ever pretended not to look at the biscuits or sweets being handed around the room, and acted surprised when you got offered one?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,502

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Not sure what’s longer: a microwave minute or watching a video while someone else is holding the phone, insisting it’s hilarious.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Quitting a job is not enough. I need them to go out of business when I leave.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, “I’ve been to a gift shop.”

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

I be butt naked, texting people, and they’ll never know.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

Breaking news is really breaking me.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Hey, man, we’re worshiping a false god later. If you wanna pull up.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.

Making waves on Facebook:

I would rather lose you than the argument.

Spotted on Facebook:

“Cut my life into pieces” screamed the earthworm and threw itself in front of my spade.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

My parents grew to like my girlfriend so much, they take her as their own daughter. Now they started looking for a proper boyfriend for her.

Trending via Instagram:

Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

Just shared via Slack:

The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

Going viral on TikTok:

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

An introvert walked into a bar. Just kidding. The introvert stayed home.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I may be ugly, but I used to be uglier.

Going viral on TikTok:

Showers are the best places to lose arguments with yourself.

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