Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
  • I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.
  • When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”
  • You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.
  • There is still plenty of room in my heart, but the bouncer has become a little stricter in recent years.
  • Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.