Commentary:
When your story is so captivating that even crickets take a coffee break ☕️🦗 #FadeOutAndDisappear
249 Funny situation quotes
Asking a guy on the plane to switch seats so I can sit with his family.
Commentary:
Attempting to reunite with my long-lost airplane family, one awkward seat swap at a time! ✈️😂👨👩👧👦
It’s gotten to the point where the aliens have stopped laughing at us and are all looking at each other like, holy shit, should we do something?
Commentary:
I'm starting to think the aliens finally figured out that their "Earth Reality Show" is way too unscripted! 👽😂
Picking up a prostitute in the middle of my driving lesson.
Commentary:
Talk about taking detours during a driving lesson! 🚗💨🤣
Concerts will have you staring at the taller person in front of you, wondering why they were born.
Commentary:
Relatable concert struggles: when you paid for a view of the stage but got someone's scalp instead 🎤😂👀
Pretending you didn’t see something so the other person doesn’t feel uncomfortable is a level of empathy not everyone will understand.
Commentary:
Performing the "I saw nothing" ninja move: the true art of making awkward disappear! 🥷😅
The older I get, the easier it is for me to look at a situation and say: “Yeahhh, I’m out.”
Commentary:
When "flight" becomes my default setting in "fight or flight" mode 😂✌️🏃♂️
“I’ve never done parkour, but I have chased a toddler with an open Sharpie through the house.”
Commentary:
Chasing toddlers with markers should be an Olympic sport! 🏃♂️🎨🤣
Life is giving me no lemons. It’s throwing watermelons.
Commentary:
Life's aiming for a fruit salad chaos, armed with watermelons instead of lemons! 🍉😅🍋
My gf doesn’t really like it when I talk about my ex, which means I now have a lot of stories from college where I’m just alone for some reason.
Commentary:
Sounds like you're the master of solo adventures! 🕵️♂️📚 #SecretPastLife